Mes: agosto 2018

Something for your face in between brewskis

The world’s biggest beer festival is coming up, and the world’s wildest travel company plans on breaking even more beer drinking records. But Oktoberfest isn’t only about the beer, despite it being delicious and strong. We’re also about the tradition, the outfits, the oompah bands, the funfair and, especially, the food. So here are six things you have to eat at Oktoberfest (come for three days, eat two things. Easys).

Schweinshaxe aka pork knuckle

This is the big daddy, the kaiser, of German beer drinking food. The schweinshaxe is a big hunk of pork, located on the joint of two bones. Which bones they are we don’t know. What we do know is that the meat is absolutely succulent, the crackling perfectly crisp, and the whole thing is drenched in delicious gravy. A pork knuckle is the perfect meal to add to your beer drinking session, filling you up with booze-absorbing goodness and giving you all the energy you need to dance the morning/afternoon/night away. Plus you will feel like Germanic tribal warrior royalty ripping your fangs into a big chunk of meat while holding onto the bone. You’re a savage.

Hendel aka roast chicken

It’s just a roast chicken, you’ve had roast chicken before, how special could this roast chicken be? The answer is very special. Plenty special. Amazingly fantastically wonderfully special. The way the Germans cook their hendel is a mystery to us, but whatever they do they take the humble roast chook and make it something to be desired. To drool over. To dream about after you’re done devouring it. Ripping into a hendel is also a great way to prepare your body for the drinking and dancing onslaught that’s to come, plus it’s more healthy than the pork knuckle, if only slightly.

Brezel aka pretzels

Ok so pork knuckles and roast chickens are a little bit expensive in Oktoberfest’s beer halls, and really they are more of an event, or an experience, than something you do because you’re peckish. The humble brezel, however, is affordable and always available, carried from table to table by walking pretzel ladies wearing traditional dirndls. These pretzels are HUGE, bigger than your head by a long way, and thick, and salty. They’re just pure bread, crisped on the outside, so don’t expect many vitamins or minerals, but they’ll fill you up and absorb some of the beer you’ll be pouring inside your face.

Rettich aka radish

Is this the odd one out of this list otherwise filled with delicious, hearty, filling and mostly unhealthy beer drinking food? Yes it is! But also, it isn’t. Radishes are sold in the beer halls by, mostly, ladies dressed in traditional garb who walk from table to table. You eat the rettich, which is literally just a radish, raw with plenty of salt. It’s got a real zest to it, and it’s fresh, and the salt makes you thirsty, and you’ll feel healthy because you ate a radish, so you can go back to beer and the occasional piece of someone else’s pretzel.

Bratwurst mit sauerkraut aka German sausage with pickled cabbage

Who doesn’t love a bit of German sausage? Everybody loves German sausage, except maybe vegetarians, who love sauerkraut. The combination is fantastic, especially when there’s a bit of potato salad on there, and covers all the food groups, from grilled meat-ish to fermented cruciferous vegetable, to mayonnaise. You can eat the bratwurst on a bun, with mustard and ketchup and some sauerkraut, or you can eat it on a plate with potato salad. It’s not healthy, but it’s hearty, and it’s a staple, so get it in your face in the name of being cultured.  

Jemandes Gesicht aka somebody’s face

What’s the point of eating all this food if you’re not going to have a little fun? Once your belly is full and you’re feeling fabulous, drink some courage juice by the litre and then find someone whose face you want to devour. Extra bonus fun if you can convince them to rub your belly while you’re making out with them.

Stoke Travel includes cooked breakfasts and dinners with our all-inclusive Oktoberfest packages, so you’ll never be hungry in the beer halls. Nevertheless, we strongly recommend you try some of these treats just to round out your Oktoberfest experience. Guten Appetit!

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In a follow up to our previous guide on making sure everyone in your dorm hates you, hold onto your hats – it’s time for the campsite edition. Oktoberfest is fast approaching so we thought we’d pay homage to our biggest camping festival of the year and make sure that you’re well equipped to have everyone hating you in record time. It’s pretty similar, and easier than you’d think, but given the fact a tent is a little more private than a dorm room and a campsite is a lot bigger, there are many more ways to make a pest of yourself. Out in the open with less rules and regulations, you can get away with much more, meaning the hate levels rise pretty damn quickly. After years in the business, we like to think of ourselves as camping experts who know how to stir a pot or two and we’re willing to share our tips with you… (our camping tips you sicko)

1. Don’t bother organising a tent and claim someone else’s

If you find yourself weary eyed and feeling like you can’t carry on, all you need to do is smoke-bomb back to the campsite before everyone else and take your pick of the tents. Who cares if it’s yours – there are no friends in the tent game. This is a sure fire way to piss someone off pretty much straight away, whether you know them or not. They won’t know who is passed out in their tent because it’s dark and they’ll be super inconvenienced by you being there. When the light of day breaks and they see who you are, you’ll instantly be hated. Well done.

2. Use the campsite as your own personal toilet

Whether this be for pissing, shitting or vomiting up the litres of beer you’ve consumed over the course of the evening, just let it out wherever you like. In tents, on tents, around tents – wherever you see fit depending on how angry you want people to get. This is a real gear grinder, especially if you combine this with step one. Pissing on someone else’s tent is always going to get you in the bad books, even more so if they’re in it trying to sleep, or worse, they’re trying to get it on. Vomiting or shitting in/on someone else’s tent is pretty much a death sentence. Don’t do this unless you REALLY want to be hated.

*You’ll probably have to clean it up at some point so think carefully before following through with this one.

3. Push in line at the bar/kitchen

Everyone is thirsty, everyone is hungry. We’re all waiting in line for a refreshing beverage or some tucker and a slippery little snake just slithers their way in front of you in the line. How would you feel about this? Pretty mad huh. Whoever you do this to will be just as mad, especially if you continue to do it day after day, night after night. You’ll eventually make a name for yourself and be hated by almost everyone at the campsite. You have to commit to this step to make it the most effective, you won’t be hated as much if you only push in once, you have to be a repeat offender to really get the full effect.

4. Stumble back to your tent and trip over 50 along the way

It’s dark, you’re drunk and trying to make your way back to your humble abode. You think you know the way but you get seriously lost. You can’t really see where you’re going, mostly because you’re fuck-eyed but partly because of the lack of light. As you stumble around, making your way through a sea of tents, you bump into at least every second one, followed by a very loud whisper of Shit, FUCK, oops. While the rest of the campsite attempts to get at least two hours of shut eye, you’re out here being a massive pest and kicking their tents left right and centre. Again, extra points if you do this repeatedly.

5. Have really loud sex in your tent that is surrounded by hundreds of other tents

We all know that sleeping in a tent is basically just being outdoors with a sheet separating you from the person next to you. There is literally no sound protection in those bad boys and after spending a week right in the guts of the campsite, you’ll be fully qualified to vouch for this fact. What better way to make your neighbours hate you then to continue to have loud sex, despite knowing that they can hear every little sound, right down to the sound of your air mattress slowly deflating under pressure. If you’re going to do this, really do it. Commit to the task at hand and really give the people something to talk/bitch about in the morning.

If you follow these five steps closely, there’s no way you will be making it out of camp un-hated. From September 20th – October 8th, you have every opportunity to come and put your new-found skills into practice at our Oktoberfest camp. There’ll be thousands of tents and just as many people for you to annoy. As many litres of pure, unadulterated, beautiful German beer as you heart desires and some of the best drunken eats you’ll ever come across. Sounds fun right? Book your spot now and come and experience all the magic that is Oktoberfest with Stoke Travel.

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Whether it’s to Oktoberfest, or Hogmanay, pass the time the Stoke Travel way

It’s train season for Stoke Travel, with our London-Munich-London Oktoberfest trains just about ready to roll out, and the yearly pilgrimage to Edinburgh for their New Year’s Eve Hogmanay celebrations filling fast with party commuters.

The fab thing about our trains, despite them being supreme value for money and a superior way to arrive at Europe’s best parties, is that they’re all ours! Like, nobody else but Stokies onboard, and so we can, almost, kind of, do what we want (within the realms of civil behaviour).

So we use the trains to make little rolling parties. Little precursors to the madness the rails are leading us to. Stoke doesn’t officially throw these train parties, as we can’t really condone them, but we do turn an unseeing eye when y’all get on board with all manner of beverages and then set to consuming them on the outbound route (only the real hardcore drink on the way back home).

So here are some little drinking games to get you nice and festive on your way to the world’s best festivals, tried and tested by the team at Stoke Travel.

1. Tunnels of love
   Simply down a cup every time the train passes through a tunnel. We’ve got no idea how many tunnels there are on either journey, but most scholarship on the matter suggests that there’s a bloody lot of them.
2. Churches
   The same as tunnels, but you drink every time you see a church spire. When you’re flying past villages this is very often. These games aren’t very imaginative, but they’re effective. Once on the high speed Paris-Amsterdam train we played churches and got so trashed that even looking at a joint made us vomit.
3. Lowest card
   Go through your wallets and pull out all of your cards. Credit cards, business cards, train tickets, etc. Whoever has the most cards drinks. Whoever has the least, drinks. The person with the most pointless cards has to explain the usefulness of each, and then drinks. Finish your drink if you have expired condoms in your wallet.
4. Tickets please
   Fold your train ticket in half and then put it on the ground. Take turns in bending over and trying to pick it up in your mouth, without using your hands. If you can do it, have a celebratory drink. If you can’t, drink to soothe the carpet burn you now have on your forehead.
5. Thomas the Tank
   Everyone gets in their underwear and puts a tank top on. You start drinking heavily. Whoever looks like the biggest tank then becomes Thomas the Tank and they have to streak. Everybody’s doing it!
6. Choo choo choose somebody
   Simply choose somebody and make them finish their drink. If they don’t want to, pressure them. If they still don’t want to, mock them. Be a bully.
7. Steammming
   Just get really drunk and then go around telling everybody how you’re Steeeeeammmming. It’s not really a drinking game, but we’re running out of ideas here.
8. Off the rails
   When the train stops, run off and try and buy more booze. Miss the train. End up living in Belgium.
9. Mind the gap
   Not really a drinking game, but try not to fall between the train and the platform as that will mess you up more than any drinking game ever will.
10. Booking your seat
    Do it now, because spaces are limited and it really is the best way to travel from London to Oktoberfest or Hogmanay.

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You’ve probably heard that La Tomatina is coming up damn quick and it’s going to be one big fun, saucy tomato fest. If you haven’t heard, we’re telling you now (where the hell have you been?). Every year thousands of travellers flock to Valencia ready to throw tomatoes at the faces of complete strangers and run around looking like they’ve just been involved in a big ol’ massacre. Although this fiesta is known for being hot and messy, this isn’t always a bad thing. At the end of the day we’re all hot messes right? Despite what you may think, La Tomatina is a pool of potential when it comes to having luck with the opposite sex. You may think Who’s gonna wanna make out with me when i’m covered in tomato and can’t even see properly?. The answer is heaps of people, but only if you play your cards right. Here are our top tips on how to be the sauciest person at La Tomatina:

1. Wear a white shirt

For some reason, the Spanish love to wear white to all their big, messy fiestas. Who knows why, maybe their Mums just really love washing and getting massive stains out of white clothes, but regardless of the reason, it’s always white. Perhaps the reasoning behind it is so that every festival ‘accidentally’ turns into a wet t-shirt competition. The things is though, you can use this to your advantage. Those rock hard abs you’ve been working on for months in preparation for your Euro trip? Get em out! That teeny weeny bikini you’ve been living in? Pop it on under your white tee for ultimate babe points. What better way to suss out the physique of a potential babe then in a tomato sauce wet t-shirt competition? This can definitely be used to your advantage. Extra points for leaning back and running your hands through your hair (or at least trying to) while your wingman showers you in tomatoes – in slow motion obviously.

2. Don’t be afraid to get down and dirty

No one likes a pansy sitting on the sidelines afraid to get their hair dirty. You’re here to get messy, so get fucking messy! Get amongst it, throw tomatoes in every direction and take it like a champion when they come flying at you. Confidence is key here and if you’re looking to impress, then take it like a man, and if you’re not a man even better! Take it like a women, or like a non-binary individual, or whatever the flip you want to take it like. Everyone loves a go-getter, risk taker, rule breaker – it’s all part of the macho vibe. You’re not scared of a few flying tomatoes are you? Of course you’re bloody not. Dive in there, swim around in it, laugh in the face of blindness when the acidic tomato juice feels like it’s burning your eyeballs out and no matter how hard you get hit, never complain – it’s not a good look. Most importantly, don’t be surprised when all the babes come flocking your way because you’re having the time of your life and they want to join the party.

3. Be a hero where necessary

Imagine this, you’re in a street with thousands of people going crazy on a tomato throwing rampage, they’re coming from every direction, hard and fast. You look over and see a fellow tomato thrower struggling. They’re fatigued, they’re dirty, they can’t open their eyes and they’re fading fast. What do you do? You run over and save the day of course! While it’s every man for himself, no one can resist a knight in shining armor. Although in this case, it’s almost definitely a muscly lad in a once white t-shirt reaching down into the saucy depths to help you up and make sure you’re ok, a hero is a hero all the same. Kindness is sexy and taking care of your fellow comrades is definitely a massive tick when it comes to impressing that cutie you’ve been eying off all morning.

4. Bust out your sweet dance moves at the official afterparty

Everyone loves a spicy dance move and there are no limits on the moves you can pull out at the afterparty. After the fight itself, this is the hottest party in town and you definitely don’t want to be missing out. Once you’ve been into the tomato fight and had the time of your life, you’ve washed off in the pool and attempted to make yourself presentable, you head on down to the afterparty. This is where all the hip, cool, trendy travelling honeys will gather for some dancing and obviously more boozing. If there was ever going to be an opportunity for you to find that lil’ cutie you spotted amongst the red streets that you never thought you’d see again it’s here. So don’t wait, get a spot on the dance floor and bust out those moves.

5. Travel with Stoke

We may be biased, but we believe there is a mysterious coating of irresistible that falls upon people as soon as they enter the coveted Stoke Travel campsite. A rare and unexplainable sex appeal that can only be gained by becoming a part of the Stoke family. Some say it has something to do with the unlimited beer and sangria but we beg to differ. It’s not something we can explain so you’ll have to come and find out for yourself. There’s a 69% chance you’ll find yourself a tent buddy, which is pretty good odds if you ask us. It’s no wonder we attract so many hotties from all over the world when the staff set the precedent… We don’t know why it is or how to explain it, but camping with Stoke makes you seem at least 15% saucier, so you’ll just have to trust us and come and see for yourself.

Do you wanna come and get saucy with us? There’s only one correct answer here and that is yes. So stop whatever it is you’re doing right now which is way less important than booking your trip to La Tomatina with Stoke Travel and book. Right now. Did we mention that if getting saucy is your vibe but camping isn’t, we still have a few spots left in our La Tomatina hotel? There’s a hot shower, personal space, and a bed… Imagine all the room you’ll have for activities! Sold? Yeah, thought so. See ya there amigos!

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The only way to travel to Edinburgh this New Years Eve

Who doesn’t love a party train? Maybe the train conductor, but that’s it! Everybody else absolutely adores a party train, chugging across the countryside while we’re chugging away on cheap prosecco. And no train is quite as perfect for partying as Stoke Travel’s very own London to Hogmanay party train.

The mode of transport is just so conducive to boozing! The trip is long enough to get nice and sauced, but not so long that you’ll need to fall asleep and wake up with a hangover; you can get up, walk around, mingle – be annoying, even. You can pee. There aren’t pesky hosties telling you that you’ve “had enough”, just your friendly co-passengers reminding you to not “be a wanker”.

Plus nobody has to drive, or at least nobody that you know.

So it makes sense to choo, choo, choose a London to Edinburgh party train for Hogmanay this coming New Years Eve. Sit back, get the party started, watch the wintery landscape whizz by the window while staying warm, arrive, rage, then return the next morning all partied out and having saved money on accommodation (which is through the roof during Hogmanay).

Here are some more reasons why you’ve just got to book your place on our London to Hogmanay party train.

It’s great value for money

£160 for the whole trip! Including your party train there and your party train back, a bottle of prosecco to get started on getting loaded, entrance to the Hogmanay street party, your first breakfast in the new year and some pre party snacks. We dare you to beat that value for money. Go on! (£160 until September 1st, then early bird tickets are up, and you’ll be paying a still-amazing £195).

You’ll be with absolute legends

Stoke Travel always attracts the coolest, easiest going, most adventurous travellers and party animals, so when you roll into Edinburgh you’ll be rolling with a deep pack of absolute champions. Also, as you’re on a train, you’ll all be stuck together and forced to mingle. Get yo’ chat on!

Skip having to find accommodation

Accommodation in Edinburgh for New Years Eve is tough to find, super expensive and also pointless. Why pay for a place to stay when you’re going to be partying all night? Ridiculous! Skip all that on the party train – train up, party all night, train back the next morning. Easy. Simple. Sensible.

Plenty of time onboard for activities

The trip up to Edinburgh from London takes around four hours, so if you need to nap on the way up you can, but we reckon you should instead just start the party. Play drinking games, like… every time the train goes past a station without stopping you have to take a shot.

It’s our train!

Completely and totally ours and only ours. 500 and so fellow travellers onboard who are going to be on the same program as you. No old fuddies to complain. No shooshers. Just you and half a thousand of your new best friends, ripping through the United Kingdom on your way to the world’s most well known New Years Eve celebration.

Not convinced? Here’s more information on the Hogmanay party, on the city of Edinburgh, and here’s the link to find out more about the trip and book, because you know you don’t just wanna, but you absolutely gotta.

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So, what is in your brew?

Contrary to popular belief, all beer is not created equal.  Some beer is strong, others weak. Some beer is pure, adhering strictly to traditional formulas, while others experiment with new-fangled technologies and recipes.  Much like humans, all (read: most) beers are unique and beautiful, and also like humans, those differences are ripe for stereotype jokes. So here’s Stoke’s definitive guide to the beer you’re drinking and what it says about you.

 

Bud Light/Coors Light/Natural Light etc.

Usually found in cans, red cups, and the fridge in your uncle’s garage, these beers are widely popular in North America.  The only thing lower than their price is the alcohol content, allowing them to fill a niche not unlike that of training wheels in the cycling world.

Ingredients: Water, barley malt, adolescent cockiness, yeast, the urine of a man with renal failure, rice, hops, sawdust.

What it says about you:  “My parents are gone for the weekend and I asked Chad’s older brother to pick up a 30-rack of whatever was cheapest”

 

Mexican imports (Dos Equis, Tecate, Corona, Modelo etc.)

Found mainly in family restaurants with pictures on the menu.  Cheap imports are the natural progression from cheap domestics, and serve to draw the line between people who like beer but lack taste buds, and xenophobic people who like beer but lack taste buds.  Can be consumed with a lime.

Ingredients: Water, malt, yeast, earthy notes like Irish moss or gypsum, and a little bit of beach sand you can’t ever get rid of.

What it says about you:  “I ordered this because I thought it would pair better with my nachos”

 

Wheat beers and Hefeweizens (Blue Moon, Shock Top, Hoegaarden)

Wheat beers, often called “white” beers due to their light, cloudy appearance, are top-fermented beers which often use large amounts of unmalted wheat in production.  With a sweeter, often fruity flavor profile, white beers are the favorite of people who want to appear to like beer while actually preferring almost anything else.

Ingredients: Water, yeast, unmalted wheat, corn syrup, the acceptance of your peers

What it says about you: “You’re sure you don’t have any cider?”

 

Craft IPA

The Scotch of the beer world, an IPA is the brew of choice for people who own books about beer.  IPAs use considerably more hops than malt in their production, giving them roughly the flavor profile of a crusty gym sock.  They have a greater alcohol content than most other beers, and are often served in smaller glasses to make it easier to look down on other what other people are drinking.

Ingredients: Water, yeast, hops, caramel/crystal malt, an air of superiority, that family of skunks who moved into the fermentation chamber and are now protected by ASPCA

What it says about you: “I’m going to write a comment pointing out the inaccuracies in this article”

German Pilsner

The one true brew.  German beer has been governed since 1516 by Reinheitsgebot, which is both a series of laws regulating the purity of beer, and the all-time winner of the Germanest Thing Ever award.  For hundreds of years, beer was made exclusively from water, barley, and hops.  Eventually yeast and malted grains were added to the list of acceptable ingredients, but even with these new additions, German beers are remarkably pure and free of hangover-causing fillers.  Surprisingly strong and served by the liter at Oktoberfest, these kingly brews separate the wheat from the chaff both literally and figuratively.

Ingredients: Water, barley, hops, and possibly yeast (seriously, that’s it).

What it says about you: “I am a person of discerning taste and undiscerning love of parties.  I am both worldly and open-minded. I am a Stokie”

 

At Stoke, we believe someday the whole world will unite and live in harmony as lovers of German suds.  We’ll be at Oktoberfest this September and October spreading the gospel, will you join us?

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Another fun fiesta/food fight the night before La Tomatina

Spain has so many wine regions. There’s the famous La Rioja, the less famous, but better, Priorat; the fortified wine known as sherry can only come from Jerez, kind of like a champagne from Champagne kind of deal. One of the lesser known Spanish wine regions is not far from Valencia, on the highway to Madrid. The region is called Requena-Utiel and the overlooked wines from here are world class. It’s also home to the Water and Wine Festival (fight) that takes place the night before La Tomatina.

The Water and Wine Festival is called Noche de la Zurra by the Requena locals. It’s an all-nighter of dancing in the streets, following marching bands, while the townsfolk throw water on you from their balconies. There are also little farm tractors driving around spraying red wine into people’s mouths. This goes on all night, winding around the hillside town’s narrow streets.

Earlier in the evening, at 10pm, the town and its visitors crowd into the bullfighting ring, where they watch foolhardy and intoxicated individuals put themselves in front of fast, juvenile bulls and quite often end up flipped in the air by them. They will then drown their sorrows and/or numb the pain by imbibing in the great, free wine that’s on offer around the town.

The Requena Water and Wine Festival has been going on since 1948, and acts as a way to celebrate the beginning of the wine harvest in the area. The festival always takes place on the last Tuesday night in August, coinciding perfectly with nearby Buñol’s La Tomatina, which is the morning of the last Wednesday.

Stoke Travel runs option tours from our La Tomatina campsite and hotel to Requena for the Water and Wine Festival. We’ll get you there in time for the bullring shenanigans and back so you can have a couple of hours sleep before the tomato fight. Lack of sleep is almost essential at this event, and it’s only for one (two? three?) days. If you want to see more cultural fiestas in Spain, the Water and Wine Festival of Requena is the perfect opportunity to do so.

The Water and Wine Festival is on the last Tuesday of August, and Requena is one hour from Valencia. Stoke Travel has hotel and campsite stays for La Tomatina that feature our world-famous campsite parties and all-you-can-drink beer and sangria bar.

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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard about the blast of a time we had at San Vino and Running Of The Bulls. If you missed it that was a fucking mistake, but the good news is that we’re only just getting started. Over the next couple of months we will be partying in Valencia for La Tomatina and then through to Munich for arguably the biggest piss up of the year, Oktoberfest. Sure you missed the first couple, that can be forgiven, but miss these and you’re a damn idiot. Rumor has it that Stoke Travel is the most fun you’ll ever have in your life. It’s a big call but you can’t argue with the hundreds of thousands of people we’ve hung out with over the years that all say the same thing. Need me to spell it out for you? Ok, here’s why you joining us at least once in your life should definitely be on your bucket list:

1. Our campsites are the fuckin’ bomb diggity

Did we mention that for only €10 a day you get unlimited beer and sangria? That’s a hell of a lot of booze and you know what they say, if you’re not boozin’ you’re losin’. Beers are pretty reasonably priced in Europe for the most part but tell me, would you rather pay €10 for 5 beers, or €10 for as many goddamn beers as you want? I’ll let you do the math. We also feed you a hot breakfast and dinner everyday which is rad because not only do you not have to pay for food, cook, or make any big decisions, you will also have a perfectly lined stomach that will allow you to booze all night long

2. You get to experience the craziest parties in Europe

Where else do you go if you have the sudden urge to throw tomatoes on thousands of sweaty strangers for a few hours in the middle of the street? What if you want to drink litres upon litres of pure, unadulterated German beer in gigantic tents, standing on tables and smashing glasses? These are the things that would probably be frowned upon anywhere else in the world, but in Europe there are massive parties where you can do just that! We don’t just take you to the parties, we ARE the party. Before, during and after, the party never stops with Stoke Travel, and as a wise man named Ben Lee once sang, That’s the way we like it.

3. We BYO bands so you don’t have the pressure of needing to impress anyone with your (probably non-existent) DJ skills

What’s a party without a band? Pretty shit, that’s what. That’s why we’ve made sure we have the best in the business on hand to keep you groovin’ into the early hours of the morning. This year we’ve got the likes of Honey Hayze, Mesmeriser, Hiaground, Kiwi Pips and Paul The Kid on board. Different sounds for whatever your vibe is, if it’s funky and you can dance to it, we’ve got it. If the past festivals are anything to go by, they’re enough of a reason to come and hang even if you don’t care about anything else. By the end of your time with us guarantee you’ll love them as much as we do, which is fuckin’ heaps.

4. We attract hottest babes and biggest party animals

Stoke Travel would be pretty average if it wasn’t for you guys coming along and getting freaky with us, year after year. We might be biased but we reckon you guys are the best, hottest and most fun group of people on the planet. You come from all the far flung corners of the earth to party with us and we bloody love it. Who doesn’t wanna be at a party full of babes that love to get weird wild and wacky? Trick question, everyone wants that. We’ve tried to figure out why everyone who parties with Stoke is a mega babe capable of drinking heaps of booze but we just can’t. Maybe it’s because babes attract babes, maybe we’re just lucky, but we’re not gonna argue.

5. You’ll have so much fun you’ll have plans for every European summer for the rest of your life

Once you’ve travelled with us and made it out alive, there’s no going back – you’re one of us now. Every year Stokies from years past return for yet another summer of booze and tomfoolery. You thought your first time was good? Well buckle up. It only gets better with each year that you return to our warm, open and welcoming arms. You’ve done it all before, you know what to expect and you can now rally a whole new group of friends from home to come and see for themselves exactly what you’ve been raving on about for the past six months. If you don’t you’ll only sit at home dying from a severe case of FOMO wishing you were out there getting amongst it with the best group of people in the world. You’ve been warned.

La Tomatina is just around the corner, it’s going to be a frickin’ blast and before we know it we’ll be on our way to Munich to drink a shit load of beer and dance on tables at Oktoberfest. Jump on board and see what all the fuss is about, we promise you won’t regret it. Or if you think you can handle it, grab yourself a Stoke Travel Passport to get the most bang for your buck and to do permanent damage to your liver.

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Ahh holiday relationships, the very best kind. They’re mysterious, spicy, foreign and there’s a high chance none of your friends have ever been there which is an added bonus. There are many different kinds of relationships you will experience on your travels, no two the same and each just as thrilling as the last. You may wonder what exactly you’re in for, and as much as we’d like to be able to, we can’t predict the future. What we can do is speak from experience and give you some tips on different types of holiday relationships. How to get them, how to get away from them and how to make the most of being footloose and fancy free in a country full of babes – trust us, we’ve got you covered.

1. The hostel romance

This is an oldie but a goodie, especially if you’re staying in a mixed dorm room. Be careful though, this has to be planned carefully around check out times otherwise things can get weird and drag for too long, which ruins the beauty of it all. Once you’re in your dorm and settled in nicely, you can start looking around for talent. As soon as you’re past the What’s your name, where are you from small talk, ask the lucky suitor to go for a drink and explore the city. Bam, the rest is history. This is much easier if you’re both travelling alone, or if by some lucky coincidence your friend is into their friend. Who doesn’t love a quick romance? You both check out of said hostel and never see each other again. Short, sweet and beautiful. What’s not to like?

2. The language barrier

You look at each other from across the room and your eyes lock instantly. Smiles are shared, butterflies fill your tummy, palms are sweaty, knees weak (arms are heavy,

there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti) and your bits are tingling. The attraction is blatantly obvious and you work up the courage to say hey, but you’re soon struck with the realisation that you don’t speak the same language. Sure, this could make things a little difficult but it also makes things super hot. When the only way you can communicate is through broken words and the exchange of bodily fluids, you know you’re in for a good time. Splash out, book a room in a hotel (or if you’re really desperate, a sneaky spot where you’re pretty sure no one can see you works just as well) and don’t emerge until daylight. These kinds of stories are the ones you tell your grandkids so don’t hesitate, just do.

3. The festival relationship

At a festival in a foreign country with thousands of people you’re bound to dabble in a lil bit of lovin’. If you don’t already know, a festival relationship is when you find your person straight away and you’re attached to them for the entire duration of the festival. It’s not for everyone but it is a good option if you’re into sharing a tent with someone every night, having someone to put you on their shoulders or vice versa, and if you’re too lazy to look for someone new each night. Festival relationships are a short lived but beautiful thing, a unique experience to try at least once.

4. The one where you actually like each other

This is the rarest and the most difficult type of holiday relationship to navigate. You’ve met this person on the other side of the world and you just click, you can’t explain why, you just do. Neither of you have any travel plans so you decide to team up and follow each other around for a while. You’ve experienced different cities and cultures together, you have taken cute piccies like you’re #couplegoals and have been through the best and worst of times together. Basically a full blown relationship in the space of a few weeks, months at best. Alas, all good things must come to an end. This can be heavy on the heart and leave you feeling pretty sad for a while. Unless you can handle the inevitable heartache or have a heart of steel and don’t give a fuck, we recommend staying away from this one if at all possible.

5. The Stoke Travel relationship

Ahh, Stoke Travel, the place you go to find true love… Ok so technically we can’t promise anything but we do have a pretty good track record of playing cupid for some happy and long lasting real life relationships. The beauty of the Stoke Travel relationship is that you have people from heaps of nationalities to choose from, so there’s pretty much guaranteed to be someone who floats your boat. It offers a unique combination of all of the holiday relationship types already discussed, so you have the freedom to choose which one works for you. You already have heaps in common before you’ve even met – you’re both loose units, you both love unlimited beer and sangria, you both love a nudie run/beer bong, you both love partying with new friends and you both love camping. It’s foolproof really: party with Stoke Travel, find love (maybe). Move over Tinder, there’s a new sheriff in town.

If you’re looking for love, look no further than Stoke Travel, statistically proven to have the hottest babes around and the highest success rates for matchmaking. A place where true  love blossoms and lasting relationships are formed (definitely not where relationships come to die). Come and find out for yourself at La Tomatina, because nothing is more of a turn on than swimming around in the worlds largest bolognese and having tomatoes in every orifice. But wait! There’s more. Arguably the biggest and best gold mine for finding love is Oktoberfest. If you’ve always dreamed of meeting your one true love dressed in a Dirndl or a Lederhose while drinking a shit tonne of delicious beer and locking drunk eyes over a table in a beer hall before running around the carnival like pair of love sick teens, then this is your year baby.

*Disclaimer: You may have a hard time finding love if you have a bad birkenstock tan, basic bitch tattoos or if you vomit in other peoples tent.  

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With Stoke Travel you can do both! But which one? Well, let’s pit our La Tomatina hotel against our La Tomatina campsite to see which accommodation type is the best way to sleep and stay at the world’s biggest food fight.

Comfort

Not often a high priority for travellers, a more comfortable stay at La Tomatina can mean the difference between being an energetic tomato chucking warrior, or a slow moving target. The Stoke Travel campsite accommodations are twin share tents, with the option to upgrade to a solo tent if you’re travelling alone and don’t want to stay with a stranger, or you’re with friends and want to get naked a lot. The tents have camping mats and sleeping bags; you’ll be using the sleeping bag bag stuffed with your clothes as a pillow. Each tent is less than a metre from the tent next to it, and nylon doesn’t stop sound from travelling at all. The bathrooms are clean and cleaned regularly, but you’ll be sharing them with your fellow campers.

The hotel stay is in a hotel. It wins this bout hands down, just look at this list of activities you can do in your hotel room that are unavailable at camp…

Fun

The uncomfortable aspects of camping are where all the fun comes from! You’re not locking yourself in your room, but sharing the experience – down to the minutiae of their pillow talk – with your fellow campers; where you lay your head is a short stumble from the party. Sleep is at a minimum because fun is turned up to the max. We have campsite parties, poolside shenanigans, beach hookups, a massive paella to share and we’re doing it all together!

There are buses from the hotel to the campsite for the fun times, but at some point you have to go home to your comfortable bed. Campsite wins this round.

Inclusions

Both trips include your accommodation, transfers to the tomato fight and tomato fight entry, plus bus and entry to the official La Tomatina after party (with the three-night package). Camping includes breakfast every day and dinner every second night. Hotel has a buffet breakfast and no dinners.

Can we call it a draw?

Price

The three-day camping package is €210, while a three-day hotel package is €270.

Everybody wins!

Convenience

The hotel option is located in central Valencia, while the hotel is a short trip up the coast. Both options are convenient, but the camping option requires a little more travel to get to. Hotel wins!

Both options are great value and even better fun. Hotel probably beats camping, but each option has its own merits. Do you put partying and being a part of a group above comfort? Then campsite! And if you really want to get some solid rest, go for the hotel. Anyway, the trip is soon, soon, soon, so book now, now, now.

 

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