LLevo años queriendo acudir al Mexilongfest que organiza mi buen amigo Israel Preciado, un evento que pone por encima de todo, el amor al longboard clásico, en una ola tropical y perfecta como es la “Saladita”. A la espera de acudir algún día os dejo un par de edits de Trent Stevens, a los mas afortunados que […]
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When It’s Not Ya Christmas, But It’s Not Ya New Year’s Either
The perennial peril of the year’s perineum AKA things to do while you’re waiting for Hogmanay to start
The piece of skin between a person’s front and back undercarriage goes by many names – the gooch, taint, notcha, etc – and for the uninitiated it is as worthless and confusing as it is interesting. This rarely seen piece of corporal real estate is scientifically known as the perineum and is only of practical use to the sexually adventurous; rumour has it that the right amount of pressure on the perineum will open it up as a pathway to the male G-spot, but sadly we don’t know anything about that.
Like its fleshy equivalent, the four or so days between Christmas/Boxing Day and New Year’s Eve/Day are really only of any use to those who attack them with enthusiasm and creativity. Now this should be all of us because we’re young and hot and now’s the time, plus most of our places of work wind down or completely shut for this period. This is fortuitous considering that we’re of the predilection to make the most out of any situation and especially those that potentially give you a hall pass from the real world and its crushing responsibilities, and so, here’s an non-exhaustive little list of things to do in the wrinkly space between your Xmas and NYE.
Go on a bender. If you’re reading this then you like Stoke, and if you like Stoke chances are you’re already gooch-deep in a bender. How are you even reading this? What we’re suggesting, however, is really going for it, like stretching it out for a few days and in the process killing off any memories you had of 2018, a year that by all accounts will go down as one of the shittiest yet. If you do bend it make sure you either go straight through to New Year’s Eve, or quit with enough days to properly recover. Also ensure that you don’t have any responsibilities other than making your friends laugh by covering yourself in mayonnaise and lemon juice before rolling around crumbing yourself in dirt while, confusingly, screaming CALAMARI, CALAMARI! Benders are the enemy of responsibility, and vice versa.
Eat. Just spend the whole five days eating ham sandwiches and other Christmas leftovers as you try and claw some kind of positive out of having the whole family at your place for Christmas (during which time Aunt Sally and Uncle Pete commandeered your bed and filled it with Scotch Finger crumbs and the lingering tang of Peter’s fossilised geriatric farts that have somehow imbued into your Transformers doona cover). Eat, eat the leftovers, literally stuff them into your face without bothering to so much as warm them up, wiping the congealed and gelatinous turkey grease from your disgusting mouth with the towel Auntie Dawn gave you, just eat and eat all week, because you say you hate Christmas, but deep down you’re just disappointed with yourself.
Shred. You’ve got tickets for the hottest venue this NYE, where all the beautiful people will be, and you feel bloated because you had a six pack for Christmas, and we ain’t talking about abs. So shred, do all that shredding, get into the gymnasium or your local cross-fit establishment and shred away those unwanted carbohydrates and keep the proteins. Shred the skin from your body so all you can see is muscle and vein, literally peel yourself like a jacked banana and let your beautiful muscle fibres glow. Heck, why stop there? Now that you’re not burdened by cumbersome skin you can remove muscles that don’t matter to you, leaving you as little more than a pile of engorged, sculpted and rock hard pectorals, abdominals, lats, delts, tris, but not leg muscles, because always skip leg day.
SPECIAL NOTE: if you’re in Australia and undertaking the traditional gooch road trip to Lost Paradise (where your Stoke pals will be), you might want to consider tying “Get Well Soon” balloons to road kill.
Road trips are fun for the first five minutes before your arse starts to hurt and you’re certain that you’re morphing into gelatinous walrus form because you just turbo’d up your Supersized McFeast meal with an extra double cheeseburger and a goddamn McFlurry. Old mate Geoff’s got the wheel and he likes to go 10 under because he doesn’t trust speedometers, while goddamn Darren is playing around with the radio because he can’t find a radio station worth listening to, before settling on Triple J’s screamo hour. Meanwhile in the back seat Daz’s younger brother has written a note with his phone number on it and is flashing it at every car containing more than one “hot chick”, and you just want to shrink and be swallowed whole by the upholstery, but of course you can’t because now you’re at KFC and your mouth filled with popcorn chicken means that you’re literally a human blimp. Well never fear, because tying a helium balloon to a long-dead animal will make your spirits soar.
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Who Is Stoke Travel?
Glad you asked. This video should explain it nicely…
We’re the wildest, most fun, best value, biggest, baddest and best travel company in Europe. We take more people than anybody to Europe’s biggest parties and festivals, or on snow and ski trips. If you’re going to be in Europe, and you want have a good time, you can’t beat Stoke Travel.
Where do you want to go?
Or for all Stoke Travel trips click here
And so many more trips to choose from.
Don’t miss the boat, get your summer 2019 Euro plans sorted NOW! And don’t worry about changing your mind, we’ve got low, refundable deposits and super flexible terms and conditions, so you can get your plans started now, and take advantage of the free extra night, without locking too tightly into your itinerary.
Check out all of our trips (and for a limited time get a FREE all-inclusive night)
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‘Tis the season to be homesick
Or, at least, that’s what you assume that Christmas away from your nearest and dearest will yield. Yuletide misery; crying under the mistletoe. But what if we told you that it doesn’t need to be so? What if Crimbo on the other side of the world could be the best you’ve ever experienced? Follow our traveller’s guide to the festive season and we’ll show you how to have a foreign Christmas that would make the three wise men jealous.
Missing your family can be the highlight of the holidays
Yes, it’s sad to be away from the family you adore, but spending the season apart from racist relatives, argumentative aunties, feuding siblings, and so on can be really liberating. Blood is thicker than water, and you can’t choose your family, but a Christmas or two away from the excesses of their craziness can be refreshing. Spend the time instead with your adopted family and watch as they descend, one whisky at a time, into the same dubious behaviours that you skipped hemisphere to avoid.
You can do whatever you want
How many Christmases were ruined by your mum’s announcement that you had to spend the holidays with your weird cousins? Forced to swelter or shiver in their dog-poo crusted backyard having your cheeks pinched instead of running wild and free with your friends at home. As you got older and progress through your teens you can call kibosh on some of the more dubious family gatherings, but Christmas, Christmas doesn’t care if you’re Elon Musk, you’re devoting at least 12 hours of that day to sitting around a frosted glass table eating too many cheese snacks and listening to your dad and your uncle slide into slurring on account of too many liberally poured firewaters.
Well, as an adult on the other side of the world, you can do precisely and exactly whatever you want. You can eat nothing but ice cream, you can party your appetite into oblivion, you can strut about in your knickers and only drink mimosas all day – what. ever. you. want.
Nan’s not around to judge your drinking
This is a derivative of the first two points, but it’s a super important one that deserves its own time to shine. If you want to get shitfaced for Christmas – and there’s a million percent chance that you do – you can, and the best thing is that nobody, not one body, will judge you for it. Well, not your Nan, at least, unless you Skype her with your teeth stained crimson and a bra on your head and tell her how you always thought that her recently departed husband, your own goddamn grandfather, would have been a good shag back in the day. Then your grandma can judge you.
Save money on presents, spend money on you
Oh mum, I wanted to get you this amazing ______, but you know how postage is, it just wouldn’t be worth it. Oh yeah, I did get the ______ you sent me, thanks so much. What am I up to for the next few days? Oh I’m booked on the Hogmanay Party Train to Edinburgh for New Year’s Eve thanks to all the money I saved on getting you a goddamn present, as if buying your first house in the 1970s wasn’t a present enough, ya spoiled tart.
Click here for our foolproof (fool creating) plan for drinking through the Silly Season, here if you want to get your nearest and dearest a bull’s horn up the butt for Christmas, or maybe a litre or 70 of Germany’s finest amber ale. Merry Christmas, you orphaned legends!
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Calendario Hangten 2019 ya a la venta. Haz tu pedido!!!!!!!!!
Se nos acaba este año 2018 y va siendo tiempo de ir pensando en el nuevo año que tenemos por delante, nuevos retos, nuevas tablas, nuevas olas y 365 días por delante para seguir disfrutando del surfing, nuestra gran pasión y que mejor que empezar con el nuevo CALENDARIO 2019 HANGTEN MAGAZINE. Hoy os lo […]
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Running With Bulls Drunk And/Or On Drugs
No, we’re not talking about the bulls themselves being drunk and/or on drugs, although anybody who has ever attended a party where overly testosteroned guys are getting wasted will attest that this would be a terrifying situation.
What we’re talking about here is us, the runners, doing the bull run inebriated. Drunk, or high, or rolling, or whatevered.
Now we have to say that we don’t condone this behaviour in any form, and that it’s our duty and obligation to prevent you from running with bulls if you’re drunk, or high. It’s also against the law, so if any of the many police officers in the bull run notice that you’re drunk, or high, or wasted, or whatever they will remove you and maybe give you a little fine.
But, and there’s always a but involved in these matters, given the size and scope of not only Stoke Travel’s campsite parties, including the Stoked in the Park music festival, but also the San Fermin street parties that surround the Running of the Bulls, plus the inevitability that these parties will lead you to getting messed up 99.995% of the time, we have to assume that some of you will be waking up still lit, or rolling straight through, and making an attempt at bull running.
Because we care, because we care about all Stokies, and all bull runners, we thought that we’d write this guide to bull running when in a state, because heaven knows we want you to survive, help us drink our bottomless sangria, and then join us again on one of the crazy adventures we undertake.
Running with the bulls while drunk
This is the most common state to run with bulls, and one that many foolhardy bull runners will willingly engage in before the event via a few early morning sangrias/shots of rum. We understand that the liquid courage effects of alcohol would make firewater on some levels a worthwhile companion in an undertaking like running from 500 kilogram fighting bulls, but any advantages you’d get from having a belly full of piss and steam are surely outweighed by the fact that booze makes you wear your wobbly boots.
That said, one positive is that all bulls seem to run straight, so maybe a unintentionally circuitous, drunkenly staggering route along the bull run could help you zig, and then zag, your way out of harm.
Running with the bulls after smoking weed
Oh this is a terrible idea, a really, really bad idea. Not only will you not feel like running at all, and being sluggish isn’t ideal when facing down half-tonne, horned mauling machines, but you’ll probably slip into some sort of paranoic state where you assume that the bulls, and the other bull runners, are out to get you personally.
On the plus side, however, an artificially heightened sense of awareness might be just what you need to be cautious in this absolutely unsafe environment.
Running with the bulls on hallucinogens
Not the time to be seeing/hearing things that aren’t actually there. You might find yourself appreciating the absolute intricity of the road pavers, and the seemingly infinite universes present in the cracks between them, while El Toro the bowel disemboweler is lining you up for an impromptu colonoscopy.
Orrrrr, your trip might fit perfectly into the situation and as you tip toe through the tulips in your mind, your physical self will be deftly dodging death by horn one surreal step at a time.
Running with the bulls on MDMA/ecstasy
Instead of running away from the bulls you’ll get stuck telling them how much you love them, while mistaking the thundering of their horns for the kind of repetitious electronic beat that really gets you excited while on these party drugs.
On the other hand, a bit of empathy goes a long way at an event that’s rather quite morally dubious.
Running with the bulls on cocaine
“Oh yeah running with the bulls, huh? Nope, nah, i’ve never done it before, but I’m sure that i’m the best. Have I told you about all the other crazy things I’ve ever done in my life? So much stuff, running with bulls is nothing, I’m probably the craziest person here, speaking of crazy, man running with the bulls would be crazy, I’d hate to be doing that right no….”
The positive here is when the bull shuts that guy up.
Like we said, you shouldn’t run with the bulls while drunk or high (if at all – most Stokies love the Running of the Bulls for everything BUT the bull run), but look, you’ve got to look on the bright side of everything, and if you do find yourself in the path of a rampaging bull and not feeling yourself, just try and remember this article and invoke some evasive maneuvers. And make sure you stay and play at the Running of the Bulls with Stoke Travel – we’re by far the most fun in the game.
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Stoke Travel’s Ibiza Beach Camp Christmas Wish List
Things have almost ground to a halt in Ibiza as the summer tourists, workers and DJs (and Djs’ groupies) have long since departed, leaving our favourite party island all but a ghost town.
So while we reminisce the summer that was, we’ve put together a Christmas wish list so that Saint Nic can deliver us the best Ibiza summer season ever in 2019.
- Summer weather to return to the northern hemisphere
On the mediterranean we’re still getting many more good days than bad, but the nights are getting chilly and we’re no longer spending our days on the beach. Please bring back back-to-back-to-back summer days when temperatures were high and clothing was minimal. - More day-parties
Along with those long summer days came open-air day parties that still bring a nostalgic tear to the eye. Whether you were living it up at Ushuaia, The Zoo Project, Ibiza Rocks — or just randomly found yourself on a beach with a bunch hippies jamming their hearts out — day-parties are just great (and the hangover didn’t ruin the whole of the following day). - Season tickets to Ushuaia
Ushuaia is consistently voted in the top clubs of the world and so we just want to go more and more. Ushuaia hosted residencies from the best in the game in 2018 including Kygo, David Guetta, Dimitri Vegas and Like Mike and Steve Aoki. Notorious party ANTS held every Saturday was our pick of the bunch though and we can’t wait to what they have in store for 2019. - To party with Freddie Mercury and George Michael at Pikes
This writer’s favourite venue on the island is located in the hills, on the outskirts of San Antonio; Pikes Hotel. Founded in the ‘70s by owner Tony Pike it quickly became the hedonistic retreat of the rich and famous who wanted to let their hair down away from prying eyes. And while for obvious reasons it’s impossible to party with Freddie and George in person, you can do it in spirit as they were both very fond of Pikes Hotel. The main room at Pikes is called Freddie’s Bar due to him taking up residency at the hotel whenever he was on the island; and George Michael filmed the music video for Wham’s track Club Tropicana at the hotel. - Drinks cards whenever we go to the big clubs
Oh we do love to party in Ibiza, but the one thing that does make us wince is when we buy drinks at the clubs. €10 for a water and €14 for a beer really does make you question your choices. So failing Santa Claus dropping a sack full of drinks cards on our laps this Christmas, I guess we’ll be taking advantage of our unlimited beer and sangria at the campsite for the princely sum of just €10 per day. Now that’s not so bad and it ensures you’re well and truly socially lubricated by the time you make it to the clubs (without the need to empty your wallets each night).
That will keep us going until Christmas and then summer 2019. You can book your place now at Ibiza Beach Camp which runs all summer long from June 1 or if you can’t wait that long you can jump on one of our Ibiza Spring Break trips.
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Stoke Travel Trips For Solo Travellers
You’re never alone when you’re a Stokie
Travel alone they said. It’s the only way to really explore and grow and get to know the place you’re visiting and yourself, they insisted. And for the most part they were right. Travelling solo is the best way to be forced out of your comfort zone, to have to socialise with people outside of your friends and family network, to spend less time gossiping with your pals and more time engaging with the bright, brave new world you’re exploring.
It can also, sometimes, be daunting, lonely and expensive. Without friends to lean on, shoulders to cry on, an extra set of thumbs to man the Google Maps and Booking.coms and without another mouth to share the meal-time burden, voyaging alone can sometimes be too much to bear. It’s worth it, you know, but sometimes being a part of a group just makes so much sense.
Enter your pals at Stoke Travel. We’re really nothing more than a massive collective of travellers who didn’t know they were friends yet, groups, couples and individuals coming from all over the world to get together and realise that we have something super fundamental in common – the overwhelming desire to have fun. With Stoke Travel you can do all that beneficial solo traveller stuff, like meeting new people and being out of your comfort zone, while enjoying all that group travel stuff like not being alone and enjoying the cost benefits of having people to share the cost with.
Hogmanay for solo travellers
Our 24-hour party train trip from London to Edinburgh’s Hogmanay is the perfect trip for people travelling alone. You are literally on a train with, and only with, 600 absolute legends/party animals with the exact same thing in mind as you – having as much fun as is humanly possible on the last day of the year. You can spend the trip up there chatting to your trip mates and playing drinking games. Then once you’re in Edinburgh you can roll with the favourite members of your new crew, bump into others you’d met on the train, and if you get lost you can just head to the official after party location where we’ll all be gathering once the New Year has happened.
Then, in the morning, you can sit next to your new best friend and dribble all over each other’s shoulders as you pass out for the ride home.
Ski Andorra for solo travellers
You want to get stuck into the white stuff, but haven’t got a crew to split the cost. Chalets are expensive, and who wants to spend six cold hours smashing your own arse without anybody around to laugh at you/help you to your feet again. Well, if you want to get chin deep in Pyrenees pow pow with Stoke Travel, all you have to do is make your way to Barcelona for our Andorra Ski Weekenders. Our coach will ferry us up to the principality, where you and your new ski buddies will do shots, smash dinners and generally carry on – including a healthy daily dose of skiing and boarding.
Running of the Bulls for solo travellers
Unlike the previous two trips, our Pamplona Running of the Bulls camp doesn’t have a transport option where your fellow travellers are captive and have no option but to become your friend (unless you book our Barcelona-Bulls, or San Sebastian-Bulls, or Madrid-Bulls – or any of the myriad transport combinations we offer for this event). What we do have, however, is an open and flourishing beer and sangria bar, where you can drink as much as you want and therefore get the tongue wagging with all of your new campmates. We’ve also got the Stoked In The Park music festival that goes off right there in our campsite, free of charge so, for example, solo travellers at Running of the Bulls 2018 could say, Wow, how amazing is it that Stoke got Art Vs Science to play! And based off that little bit of straightforward small talk friendships were formed.
See also: San Vino wine fight and making new friends absolutely pickled in vino tinto, both outside and in.
San Sebastian Surf Camp for solo travellers
The San Sebastian Surf Camp is paradise for individual wanderers, as you can mosey in whenever you like and leave when it suits you. In between you’re completely open arrival and departure dates are days filled with fun in the sun, surfing, cider, exploring San Sebastian, hiking and general surf camp hijinks. This place is truly one big family and from the time you arrive until you unwillingly depart you’ll be busy making new friends from all over the world and sharing the experience of being smashed by the North Atlantic together.
And if you’re single can you think of a better way to start a relationship than with sand in your hair and saltwater pouring out of your nose? If they like you then, they’ll love you forever.
We also consider our Springfest and Spring Break Ibiza trips, as well as all Barcelona Boat Parties, to be prime destinations for solo travelling. Come alone and leave with new best friends for life – Stoke can just about guarantee it.
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