The 8 Types of People You’ll Find in Every Tour Group

By Sophie Nicolas

If you don’t know who the alcoholic is of your group…then we’ve got news for you.

 Every trip with Stoke Travel is different and one of a kind. But you will always find the same people who can make your trip better, or make it…challenging. If you’ve ever been on a group tour, you have definitely met these people, or you’re one of them!

The Over Planner

This person doesn’t like to mess around when it comes to schedules. We’re talking colour coded planners, a bucket list for each destination and following the tour guide’s timeline to the minute. Consider this person the Hermione Granger of tour groups. Endearing, but intense. They only want to make the most out of their trip, so our advice would be to let them do it their way, don’t let them stress you out, and realise that everyone travels in different styles! Even if their style isn’t yours. We think it’s better to just agree with them to make them happy and then do your own thing.

The New Best Friend

There’s always that one person that you like more than the rest, you’re like-minded and make great beer pong partners. You do everything together, never get sick of each other and wonder where they have been all your life. Tour groups are about finding people from different backgrounds from all over the world and making friends for life. One minute you’re both drinking at The Dune Rats festival and the next minute they’ve disappeared and you realise you never got their Facebook details. Ok, so turns out you’ll never see them again after the trip finishes. But still, it’s a great memory.

The Cheap Ass

This person is always asking to borrow money, always manages to get free drinks from some poor soul and is always asking to dine somewhere cheap. But hey, no judging here. Sometimes you gotta travel on a budget, to make things work. You might see this person leave for a short duration of the trip and return with a scar where their kidney should be, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The Functioning Alcoholic

Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. There’s no shame in wanting to party, even if it’s every night. Hey, we even condone it! (check out our wine festival) But you should probably accept the fact that others will refer to you as “that drunk guy” or “the guy who accidentally yacked on a child” or “the girl who did four tequila shots in a row, made out with the bouncer and then fell asleep in a pool of her own piss.”

Regardless of what people call you, you can always be relied on for a good time and you’ll most likely be the talking point of every conversation the next morning. You sleep all day and go hard all night. You can sleep when you’re dead.

The Ghost

Almost like a mythical creature, you’ll hardly ever see this person. Are they real? A ghost? A figment of our imagination? We’ll never know. They showed up to the first day and then disappeared for the rest of the trip. They are either doing their own thing, meeting up with friends or even sleeping at other places.

They show up to get the benefits of the tour and then leave to god knows where. Still friendly, but reserved, this person usually keeps to themselves and likes to skip the big and “basic” tourist destinations. Which is completely fine! No judgement here. Travelling with Stoke means you can make the trip the way you want it, with no restrictions! So, if you want to ghost us, go ahead. You do you, boo. 

The Mum

Where would we be without our classic mum friend? The one who peels your sorry ass from the sidewalk and puts you safely in a taxi. The one who holds your hair back when you’ve drunk too much wine, tells you not to go running with the bulls while intoxicated, which you’ll probably end up doing anyway. (And if you do, here’s a guide on do it while in a state) Are they a little smothering? Maybe, but do they stop you from killing yourself with our unlimited sangria? Absolutely. From all of us everywhere, we thank the mum friends for their service. The true heroes.

The Break Up Spree

Some people go on holiday to meet new people, to see new sights or to “find themselves.” And there are some people who want to book the next flight out of town, post a photo at the club in Ibiza, holding two cocktails to prove to their ex that they really are over them. And have sex with a complete stranger of course. Watch out for these ones, they’re wild and can go from dancing on the table to sobbing in the bathroom in 0.3 seconds.

The Lover Not a Fighter

It’s no secret that when you put a bunch of young people on the same tour together, there’s going to be some dirty hook-ups happening. And we mean a sloppy, drunken hook up squeezed in a single bed and a pounding headache the next morning. And your roommates will probably be giving you the stink eye the whole time you’re doing it.

Some people are here just to hook up and have a good ol’ raunchy time. And there’s nothing wrong with that my dudes. But remember, you can’t go wrong if you shield your dong. you don’t want to bring an unwanted souvenir home, and by souvenir we mean chlamydia.

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Is Stoke Travel Fyre Festival 2.0?

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and over promises and under delivers like a duck, then…

Did you see in the news that Australian music festival Hot Dub Wine Machine had been beset by a tropical storm that brought with it floods, cancellation of the headlining act, and an evacuation of all revellers?

The press in Australia is calling it Fyre Fest 2.0.

Which has gotten the team here at Stoke Travel pretty riled up, because we always thought that we were Fyre Festival 2.0.

Well, not always, but the other day our Stoke Travel Guru team was chasing up an incomplete booking, and when they asked the almost-Stokie why they changed their mind they received the following response:

Cause ur fyre fest lol

And it got us to thinking, maybe we are Fyre Fest 2.0. We’ve disappointed more than our fair share of travellers over the years, and while the satisfied customer database is at 99%, or more, that still leaves 370 bitterly disappointed travellers in 2018, and maybe another 1000 or more over our history.

Let’s say we’ve disappointed about 1500 people in the 13 years we’ve been in this travel business.

Sure, we’ve pleased and pleasantly surprised more than 100,000 travellers since we started the crazy adventure that is Stoke Travel, but having 1500 haters is no mean feat. That’s about four Boeing 747s filled with people who wish you ill will, or about 30 city buses full of soggy sleeping bags.

It’s a whole lot of negative vibes being sent our way.

About 4000 people went to Fyre Festival, and let’s say that 1000 of them were chill, or drunk, enough to have a good time despite the shit show.

That leaves 3000 disappointed festival goers. We’re half way there, and I think Stoke Travel can get there, heck, maybe we can get there this year if it rains at Oktoberfest, or we have a few buses run late from the Running of the Bulls.

We could be Fyre Fest 2.0!

We make people sleep in pretty crappy tents.

You’d be hard pressed to describe our meals as gourmet.

Our content and media team do make our events look amazing.

Heck, we are Fyre Fest 2.0.

Well, we are unless you take the following things into account:

  1. We’ve been running surf camps for 13 years; Oktoberfest, Running of the Bulls and La Tomatina trips for 11 years. We were Fyre Festival before Fyre Festival. If anything they are 2.0. We are the OGs.
  2. All of our promo videos were filmed at real life, successful Stoke Travel events. We didn’t fly out Instagram influencers to have them pose on luxury yachts that we have no intention of providing to paying customers. Everything you see in Stoke Travel’s promos happened to real people on Stoke Travel trips.
  3. We’ve never pretended to be a luxury option – far from it, we’re the fun option. We’re the place to go if you want to have the best time in your life and get your hands, and liver, a little dirty. If you want fancy you’re barking up the wrong festival.
  4. Our musical acts actually turn up, like Yolanda Be Cool, Art Vs Science, Honey Haze, and about another 12 bands and DJs in 2018, with even more lined up for 2019 – including Dune Rats!

Other differences between Stoke Travel and Fyre Festival include – we don’t have the backing of a tiny-mouthed, but otherwise unhateable late-90s-early-noughties rappers; we’re not socially inept repeat-offending scam artists whose main goal in life is to pay bikini models to hang out with us — in fact, we wouldn’t know what to do with hot, buff guys, bikini models and Instagram influencers even if they did want to hang out with us.

And, I don’t know, Fyre Festival seemed to attract a bunch of entitled losers, whereas Stoke Travel trips are more for independent voyagers, legends, party animals, and the kind of people who travel to have fun with like-and-open minded travellers from all over the world, and who wouldn’t let sleeping in the tent, or dancing in the rain, ruin their experience.

Is Stoke Travel Fyre Festival 2.0? Maybe, but only if you’re the type of dweeb who’d want to go to Fyre Festival 1.0 in the first place.

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Las chicas también surfean. Nuevo vídeo. Yumey

Hoy traemos un video a través del cual queremos seguir impulsando el loggin femenino. El Longboard es estilo puro y nadie mejor que las chicas para llevarlo a cabo. Nuestro filmmaker particular, Miki Astorga, ha grabado durante un par de baños a Yumey, surfeando con un pesado tablón 9,6 clasicote. El vídeo muestra las ganas […]
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Libres en el Mar. Editorial Libros del océano.

Conjugar una pasión como el mar, el surfing, la fotografïa y una buena prosa, en un libro es una tarea al alcance de muy poca gente; entre los que son “Capaces” está el ferrolano Jesús Busto, surfista, activista por el medio ambiente, divulgador y casi podríamos decir historiador del surfing gallego, un “tío” de apariencia […]
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Nuevo Edit de nuestro amigo NEIL Messmer desde California.

Hace Ya tiempo que seguimos a este chaval Neil Messmer, un tío que está empezando a despuntar por su buen surfing y su estilo de vida, donde todo los tópicos del surfista Californiano se juntan en su persona, buen skater, un surfing estiloso,su imagen icónica de chico de la playa, en fin y resumiendo, una […]
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2019 Ibiza Clubbing Roundup

Oooooooh it’s that time of year when the Ibiza clubs are announcing their parties for summer 2019. In just a few short months all of you hot young things will be showing up in droves and the world’s best nightclubs will be throwing open their doors. Which parties are going to be the best? Whose groupies will be the hottest? Which DJs are staying put and which DJs are moving home for their 2019 residencies? This year is already proving to be full of changes for the White Isle, with David Guetta, Claptone, Cocoon and Music On all announcing big changes, so read on my dear raver for all you need to know is explained below.

David Guetta moves home

Not only did David Guetta have to live through the break down of his marriage to fellow party starter Cathy Guetta a few years ago, he’s now having to move house. That is, the home of his hugely popular F*** Me I’m Famous party from Pacha to Hi Ibiza on Fridays. This man has it (relatively) tough as it is having to live and work in the same town as his ex-wife, but now he’s being passed around like the new guy in prison. That’s actually pretty unlikely though, as those who follow the Frenchman’s movements closely will know that he holds down another residency (BIG) on Mondays at Hi Ibiza’s sister venue in Ibiza, Ushuaia. He’s doing just fine.

Claptone waltzes into town

Claptone has announced his very first full time Ibiza residency. He’ll be making Pacha his home every Monday night this summer which will make a lot of people very, very happy. Claptone is no stranger to Ibiza, but this will be the first time the masked DJ and producer will host his own party week-in, week-out. The Masquerade is the name of the weekly soiree, and what better venue for it to be held in than the glitz and glam Pacha Ibiza.

Marco Carola migrates his flock

Have you seen Marco Carola before? He’s the bald one in a black t-shirt among the flock of platinum-blonde girls buzzing around the DJ booth. Those girls will have to find a new DJ booth to call home in 2019 as the Italian tech-house don has announced a move from Amnesia on Fridays to Pacha on Thursdays for his party Music On. A move pretty fitting for his hangers-on, but one might think that the regulars of Pacha might not be quite ready for his notoriously heavy and vocal-free sets. This is a move that has already ruffled the feathers of his die-hard fans on social media.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it according to Ushuaia and Tomorrowland

Dimitri Vegas and Like Mike. Unbeknownst to most (and almost certainly themselves) as to how, this duo keeps on finding themselves at the pointy end of top-100 DJs lists. Astonishing really. Anyway, the folks over at Ushuaia and Tomorrowland haven’t taken any issue with this as the clearly ultra-talented dj-act have been confirmed to be returning to their Tuesday residency at Ushuaia.

Carl Cox returns

Ibiza just wouldn’t be Ibiza without Carl Cox. The undisputed king of Ibiza returns to Ibiza for a handful of dates in 2019 with techno party powerhouse Resistance, at the biggest night club in the world, Privilege. Resistance will take over Privilege’s main room for nine Tuesdays in 2019. Other big names playing 2019 include Adam Beyer and Hot Since 82. Hot damn, sounds like a party.

Solomun parties on at Pacha

Have you been on the Internet lately? Have you seen a video of a slightly-out-of-shape Turkish man in all black dancing in a villa somewhere in the hills of Ibiza? Well that’s Solomun, and where Carl Cox is the king of Ibiza, Solomun is the king of the after party. The pre-after-party(?) however will take place at Pacha every Sunday as it has the last few years. The party, +1, typically features just one other guest DJ each week for an extended set and then a B2B set alongside the host-with-the-most. Those details haven’t been announced yet, but when they are this will be a party to line up for.

Cocoon to emerge somewhere new?

Sven Vath’s party Cocoon made a huge move in 2018 from long-time home Amnesia to Pacha, a venue that is typically not favoured among the techno crowd. Change might be afoot for the iconic techno party as this year’s special 20th anniversary opening party has been announced at one of Pacha’s direct competitors, Ushuaia on 25 May. Does this signal the end of Cocoon and Pacha’s short-lived relationship or just a one-off event at another Ibiza venue?

Just another day at the Zoo

One of our absolute favourite parties, and something that brings us back week-after-week is the Zoo Project. Held with an unannounced lineup each week at the abandoned zoo in the hills above San Antonio, it’s a hedonistic party which brings out the primal party people in their best animal costumes and face paint. Not to be missed if you find yourself in Ibiza on a Sunday this summer.

Well there you have it. All of the movers and shakers for Ibiza 2019 so far. Now that you’ve made up your mind to visit Ibiza in 2019, it’s time to book our Ibiza Beach Camp to make sure you have the best time imaginable. So get to it before it sells out!

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