San Onofre necesita ayuda

NECESITAMOS SU APOYO, asi comienza el email que nos envía nuestra amiga Andrea Coleman. Conocida por ser una de las fotógrafas más importantes del panorama tablonero Californiafo. El problema viene siendo que tienen una fuerte lucha contra el gobierno central, ya que quieren almacenar residuos nucleares a pocos metros de la costa, lugar donde cada […]

Os presentamos la web de Dan Costa Shaper de Retromovement

Estamos muy contentos de presentaros la nueva página web de DAN COSTA  el shaper de Retromovement surfboards y Banger custom surfboards. Podréis ver el catálogo completo de tablas y contactar para hablar y reservar el modelo que mas os guste, descubriréis de forma muy visual y sencilla todo el trabajo de este gran shaper. Os […]

Olas perfectas en la costa Vasco francesa y tablas increíbles de Luc Rolland.

Soñamos con las olas de California, indonesia y demás sitios remotos conocidos por su excelentes y perfectas ondulaciones, pero cuando el cantábrico y atlántico despierta, el viento cuadra, el swell viene en la buena dirección, nuestras olas y mares tienen poco que envidiar a otras partes del mundo. En el siguiente edit de BENJAMIN ITHURRIAGUE se unen […]

Royal Ascot Reveller Peeing Behind Dumpster Still Hopes To Meet The Queen

London, England. An inebriated racegoer relieving herself alongside a rubbish bin hasn’t given up hope of meeting Elizabeth II, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of her other realms and territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.

The reveller, identified by friends as Susie Hampton, 23, an Australian currently residing in London on a two-year working visa, had frocked up in her finest H&M bought party dress, in anticipation of a chance meeting with the British monarch at the annual Royal Ascot race meet

“We are surprised we haven’t yet met the Queen”, declared Hampton, borrowing toilet paper from a friend playing lookout while affecting the royal we for the occasion, “one is here, her royal graciousness is here, the vibes are good. What’s the matter with her, is she stuck up or something?”

Friends said that Hampton first mentioned her unreasonable expectations during the day’s preparations, while they were doing each other’s hair and drinking the second cheapest Prosecco they could find in Tescos. “Yeah so she was getting a little tipsy and started talking about how she’s always loved the Queen and it’s her dream to meet her,” explained level headed pal, Bethany Hamilton, “and then she just snapped and was like, Maybe we’ll meet the Queen today! And the more and more she drank the more convinced she became that it was a possibility, that the Queen would look down from the balcony and notice her and call her up, or something, and they’d hit it off.

“We tried to tell her that it was very unlikely, but she had it in her mind and we couldn’t shake her out of it. Then she got excited and started drinking more and more prosecco, insisting that we spend more time on her hair and makeup because, One can’t meet the Queen dressed like a commoner, and yep she started referring to herself as ‘one’ and ‘we’ and put on this ridiculous accent.”

It would seem that the excitement had gotten the better of the regal aspirant, who had lost her fascinator and was carrying her shoes in her hand shortly after lunchtime. Witnesses report her imploring, “It’s a celebration! Lizzie! Liiiiizzziiiie! Come and celebrate with your royal subjects! I am your lesion, or are you my leachh, anyway, let’s partyyyyyy….”, towards the royal box, before the excitement got the better of her, causing her to slump out of a sloppy curtsey and rolling on the grass.

At the time of publication Miss Hampton was taking a timeout on a fold out chair, within sight of the royal pavilion, while her friends convinced concerned security that she was just suffering from a little exhaustion. We can confirm that she was heard humming God Save The Queen between hiccups and was planning on a cheeky tactical spew before turning her focus onto a lesser member of the royal family. “Maybe Harry, he’s only engaged, isn’t he? Maybe he wants some of this!”, she pondered before gesturing sloppily towards her grass stained dress. 

Come and meet the Queen with Stoke at this year’s Royal Ascot Races. We’ll be on our worst best behaviour as we show just why we shouldn’t be allowed to have nice things.

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Madera de Balsa y tablas de surf. fotos y vídeo

La madera de balsa es una madera porosa, suave y ligera, originaria de sudamérica, fue el material de construcción de tablas predilecto en los años 40 y 50. En los años 30 ya se empleaba combinada con la madera de secoya para la fabricación de tablas de surf y después de la segunda guerra mundial, […]

REPORT: Despite Ongoing Political Instability, Separatist Riots, Police Brutality, Petty Crime, Terrorist Threats, HIgh Cost Of Living, Pollution And Overcrowding, Barcelona Somehow Remains The Best City In The World

Barcelona, Spain, Catalunya, Spain (?): in spite of all the bullshit that has gone on in the Catalan capital over the past 12 months, it has been confirmed that Barcelona is still somehow the best darn city in the whole world.

The Mediterranean port city – known for its “best ever” 1992 Olympics, that Veronica Catherine Barcelona movie by Woody Allen, and the time your friend Jennifer studied abroad there – dealt with a lot of crap in 2017/2018 but still remains the number one place you could possibly be on earth.

The United Nations head of good places, Ban Young Kim, confirms. “Yes, Barcelona hasn’t shifted from its spot at the top of the Heaps Good Places You Need To Be In index, despite the piles of shit the city dealt with last year. Barcelona’s always had problems – the pickpockets, a beach that is essentially a dirty ashtray and drug dealers selling flour – but this year was exceptionally challenging.

“It all started with the anti-tourist riots in the beginning of the 2017 summer, that saw kids harassing visitors on buses and eating in restaurants rather than taking on the big businesses that profit from increased tourism without passing the dividends on to the people.

“Then terrorists attacked the heart of tourist Barcelona – targeting La Rambla, the one street in the city where locals never go. Just as the city was healing from the attack, the Catalan government held a one-sided referendum on independence that was met with disproportionate violence by the Spanish police, plunging the city into months of rallies from both sides of the debate  that shut down large parts of the city, rioting, police responding to the protests with force, a political stalemate due to local elections failing to produce a clear winner, and generally just piles and piles of caka.

“But still, in the face of all that fecal matter, Barcelona has stayed as the number one, top of the chart, fully sick, best damn place that you’d want to be. It doesn’t matter how grim the political situation here is, how expensive rent is, how jammed the centre of the city is with tourists, none of that matters when you’re simply walking around this wonderful city, taking in the sights, falling in love 10 times on each city block, stopping on a terrace for a sneaky vermouth, having a vino-soaked dinner in whichever bar or restaurant you stumble upon, and finishing the night losing your marbles in any of the city’s clubs.

“We cannot repeat this often enough, but to anybody who is apprehensive about coming to Barcelona after seeing all the mierda that has gone on there over the last little while, anyone who may be doubting whether to come to Barcelona or not, we say to you to stop being such a little bitch and get over here. The city is still as rad as ever, maybe more so as everybody is more invested in having a good time given the utter shitshow that has been regional politics recently. The city is beautiful, and alive and while you will probably still get pickpocketed and the streets haven’t lost the overwhelming stank of stale piss, you will still have the best time of your life while you’re here, that’s a guarantee.”

Stoke Travel’s boat party season starts soon, and with it all the awesome tours, events and parties we throw every year. You really need to be in the best place in the world.

The post REPORT: Despite Ongoing Political Instability, Separatist Riots, Police Brutality, Petty Crime, Terrorist Threats, HIgh Cost Of Living, Pollution And Overcrowding, Barcelona Somehow Remains The Best City In The World appeared first on Stoke Travel.


BREAKING: Stoke Travel Fully Expects You To Tamper With Balls At The London Big Day Out

Yes, those kinds of balls

London, England. Following the Australian cricket team’s utterly disgraceful act in getting caught cheating, Stoke Travel CEO and resident cricket dork, Toby Paramor, has encouraged players at this year’s London Big Day Out to be better at cheating.

“What a shithouse effort,” explained the one-time high school C-division 12th man, “If you’re going to cheat at least have the decency to not get caught! Lance Armstrong won how many Tour de Frances before he got pinged, and these clowns are getting done with a bit of tape down their pants. Imbeciles!”

The scandal couldn’t come at a worse time for Stoke Travel, with interest in their annual backyard cricket tournament hinging around the sport’s respectability.

“Thing is, the London Big Day Out has some semi-serious amateur sports competitions, like rugby and netball, and people get right into them. That’s fine, it’s fun and makes for a good spectacle while you’re sinking tins. But we also have Stoked in the Park, which is our festival inside the Big Day Out, which is just a party – bars, live music, DJs, you name it. Well in Stoked in the Park you’ll find Dad’s Backyard. Dad’s Backyard is just like anybody’s dad’s backyard at home, sausage sizzle, goon of fortune, daggy tunes and backyard cricket. Of course it has to have backyard cricket.

“But interest in backyard cricket goes up and down with game’s prestige, and there’s nothing less prestigious than getting caught cheating. People already consider cricket to be a bit boring and mostly played by dorks, and now they can add that cricketers can’t even cheat properly. Un-bloody-believable.

“That’s why I want to say that at this year’s London Big Day Out I fully expect everybody to tamper with balls, mess around with bats, lube up wickets, I don’t know and I don’t care. Cheat! Take bloody steroids if you want! We’ll allow just about anything so long as it makes the sport of cricket more exciting for the piss heads to play.

“I’ll even buy a beer for the best cheat. The most creative, the most effective. Do whatever it takes to stay in bat the longest, or to bowl out your mates. Heck, if you can cheat your way out of the ‘six and out’ rule I’ll buy you a six pack,” offered Paramor, a nototious tight arse.

Despite Paramor’s concerns, experts are saying that no matter how damaged Australian or international cricket’s reputation becomes, people everywhere will still have a real good time having a backyard bash with their friends. Plenty of people are still expected to come along to our backyard tournament and have a real fun time talking shit, sinking tins and whacking balls. 

Stoke Travel’s London Big Day Out, including Stoked in the Park, Dad’s Backyard and cheat-friendly cricket is on the 19th of May in West London. There are early bird tickets still available, so get yourself sorted and then focus on your ball tampering. Australian cricket’s shame is Stoke Travel backyard cricket’s gain!

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Woman Visiting Springfest Really Enjoying Drinking Beer

Ah, I’m going to enjoy this, she says while cracking her 20th beer that day

Munich, Germany. A young American woman has appreciated yet another beer while celebrating Munich’s Frühlingsfest, otherwise known as Springfest.

The woman, 22-year-old San Diego native Jennifer Sanders, has never really been into beer, but is taking to Germany’s second biggest beer party like a fish to water.

“Oh yeah, when it hits your lips it’s just so, so refreshing!”, cried the clearly extatic and somewhat intoxicated university sophomore, finishing the litre of beer the same time it takes her to usually get through a can, “I’m done with this one, GIVE ME ANOTHER BREWSKI!”

Sanders had started this beer drinking odyssey the day prior, taking full advantage of Stoke Travel’s €10 all-you-can-drink beer and sangria deal. “At first I didn’t know whether I wanted beer or sangria, but my friends convinced me that it would be ridiculous to drink sangria at a beer festival. So we started on the beers and they just went down sooooo well! Maybe too well, lol! After that first one I was all in, we were double fisting every round, doing beer bongs, playing beer pong, everything – and that was just in the campsite before we even got to the festival.

“If I thought the beers at the campsite were delicious they were nothing compared to what was in the beer halls. Oh man, now I know what my dad was going on about when he’d really enjoy a Bud after a hard day at work.” Exclaimed the newly forged amber ale aficionado, before letting rip a brave belch and slamming the stein glass onto the wooden tabletop.

Friends were surprised to see the usually snobby study abroad student take so well to beer drinking. “Ya, generally she’s more into popping bottles in the club, or drinking vodka and soda, you know,” explained classmate and travel buddy, Holly Wong, “but ever since she’s been in Munich she’s been downing beer like a lumberjack! It’s exceptional the transformation. I mean, the beer here is delicious, and the drinking vibe infectious, but Jen is going all in, downing full beers and burping like a truck driver. I saw her stumbling around earlier with one hand down her pants and the other wildly cheersing anybody within arm’s length – she’s a fully fledged beer pig now.”

Sanders admits that at this stage of the party, her only option for survival is to continue drinking beer. “Well I woke up this morning feeling pretty shitty,” she explains, “but one of the boys convinced me that I should have a beer, and I did, and then I felt great! So I’ve kept at it. The beer is basically all I’ve got going for me this weekend, the only thing keeping me alive, and man it feels good. I don’t want to know what I’ll feel like when I stop, so i’m just going to keep on chugging.”

Her friends admit that they’re not looking forward to seeing Sanders at the end of the weekend. “So we have to leave on Sunday night, but Jen has already said that she plans on hitting the beer halls again that morning. Then I guess she’ll grab some beers for the bus ride back, but at some point she’s going to have to stop drinking as we have class on Monday. I don’t know if she’s now a fulltime beer drinker, or she was just going all in for the weekend, because of where we are. I mean, you can’t really go to a beer drinking festival and not drink beer, can you?”, pondered Ms Wong.  

Nope, you definitely cannot. Springfest is soon, and it’s the place to be for longtime lovers of beer and people who want to have a brief fling with the party juice. At Stoke Travel not only do we get you into the Munich beer halls, we also get the party started and finished at our campsite with our unlimited beer and sangria bar – for only €10 a day.

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Pamplona bull vows to float like butterfly, sting like bee

A Pamplona running bull has vowed to bring a bit of the old razzle dazzle to this year’s San Fermin festival.

The young male, who has spent the majority of his life training for this one event, issued some chilling premonitions during a recent press conference.

“I’m going to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Those runners’ feet can’t avoid what their eyes can’t see. My horns are like lightning, they’re going to come at you fast and hot, and they’re sharp like samurai swords and as nimble as a ninja – you won’t even know i’m slicing you up.

“You’ve heard of the raging bull, but I’m not mad. I’m a cold, calculated runner-rolling machine. I’ve done all the training and now I’ve got you in my sights. There’s nothing you can do, your fate is set. I’m coming for you, i’ve always been coming for you, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. I’m stone cold. I’m a killer.”

Despite the threats, the big talking bull insists that he bears his potential victims no ill will.

“I don’t know anything about my upcoming victims, who they are, what they do, nothing. This isn’t about them. This isn’t personal. Heck, I even respect them. I think they’re good people. And I mean them no ill will. That said, I’m definitely going to make orphans of their children.”

When pressed on whether the bull’s talk was all bluster, he was sure of his position in the pantheon of fighting bulls.

“There’s no bull living or dead who’s as great as me. Those people should feel blessed to be gored by greatness. The horns of a god, coming inside you. I’m the best bull, the number one, the top hamburger. I’m the most beautiful, my rump is the juiciest, my ribs the tastiest. They call me Mr T Bone and I pity the fool who gets between this gorgeous bull and the finish line.

“I’m the greatest!”

The outburst has confirmed that running with the bulls is a really, really bad idea, but one that for some reason we’ll do anyway. A spokesperson for the bull runners told reporters that while participating in the tradition is obviously dangerous, most participants don’t even think about it.

“To be honest I don’t know what they think is going to happen. These bulls are literally half-tonne steamrollers who have had their horns sharpened so they can inflict maximum damage on anyone with the misfortune to be in their way. Sure, this particular bull says some pretty scary things, but to be completely honest it’s the quieter bulls we should be worried about – you won’t even hear them coming and WHAMMO. I don’t know why anybody runs with the bulls.

“But yeah, of course I’ll be running with the bulls this year, it’s so much fun!”

Stoke Travel caters for the lunatics who want to run with bulls, and the legends who are just there for the party. Make sure you stay with Stoke to get the most out of San Fermin, as we make sure you’re always where the action is – even going to the effort of putting a music festival on in our campsite.

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Tyler warren surfing estiloso con su pequeño FISH.

Tyler Warren, es un excelente shaper y surfer californiano, longboarder prodigioso y estiloso con la tabla corta, nos deleita en unas izquierdas de ensueño, donde le saca todo su partido a su twinfin fish. Si os habéis quedado con ganas de más, ahí va otro documento gráfico guapo. Tyler Warren la elegancia en el SURFING