No, we’re not talking about the bulls themselves being drunk and/or on drugs, although anybody who has ever attended a party where overly testosteroned guys are getting wasted will attest that this would be a terrifying situation.
What we’re talking about here is us, the runners, doing the bull run inebriated. Drunk, or high, or rolling, or whatevered.
Now we have to say that we don’t condone this behaviour in any form, and that it’s our duty and obligation to prevent you from running with bulls if you’re drunk, or high. It’s also against the law, so if any of the many police officers in the bull run notice that you’re drunk, or high, or wasted, or whatever they will remove you and maybe give you a little fine.
But, and there’s always a but involved in these matters, given the size and scope of not only Stoke Travel’s campsite parties, including the Stoked in the Park music festival, but also the San Fermin street parties that surround the Running of the Bulls, plus the inevitability that these parties will lead you to getting messed up 99.995% of the time, we have to assume that some of you will be waking up still lit, or rolling straight through, and making an attempt at bull running.
Because we care, because we care about all Stokies, and all bull runners, we thought that we’d write this guide to bull running when in a state, because heaven knows we want you to survive, help us drink our bottomless sangria, and then join us again on one of the crazy adventures we undertake.
Running with the bulls while drunk
This is the most common state to run with bulls, and one that many foolhardy bull runners will willingly engage in before the event via a few early morning sangrias/shots of rum. We understand that the liquid courage effects of alcohol would make firewater on some levels a worthwhile companion in an undertaking like running from 500 kilogram fighting bulls, but any advantages you’d get from having a belly full of piss and steam are surely outweighed by the fact that booze makes you wear your wobbly boots.
That said, one positive is that all bulls seem to run straight, so maybe a unintentionally circuitous, drunkenly staggering route along the bull run could help you zig, and then zag, your way out of harm.
Running with the bulls after smoking weed
Oh this is a terrible idea, a really, really bad idea. Not only will you not feel like running at all, and being sluggish isn’t ideal when facing down half-tonne, horned mauling machines, but you’ll probably slip into some sort of paranoic state where you assume that the bulls, and the other bull runners, are out to get you personally.
On the plus side, however, an artificially heightened sense of awareness might be just what you need to be cautious in this absolutely unsafe environment.
Running with the bulls on hallucinogens
Not the time to be seeing/hearing things that aren’t actually there. You might find yourself appreciating the absolute intricity of the road pavers, and the seemingly infinite universes present in the cracks between them, while El Toro the bowel disemboweler is lining you up for an impromptu colonoscopy.
Orrrrr, your trip might fit perfectly into the situation and as you tip toe through the tulips in your mind, your physical self will be deftly dodging death by horn one surreal step at a time.
Running with the bulls on MDMA/ecstasy
Instead of running away from the bulls you’ll get stuck telling them how much you love them, while mistaking the thundering of their horns for the kind of repetitious electronic beat that really gets you excited while on these party drugs.
On the other hand, a bit of empathy goes a long way at an event that’s rather quite morally dubious.
Running with the bulls on cocaine
“Oh yeah running with the bulls, huh? Nope, nah, i’ve never done it before, but I’m sure that i’m the best. Have I told you about all the other crazy things I’ve ever done in my life? So much stuff, running with bulls is nothing, I’m probably the craziest person here, speaking of crazy, man running with the bulls would be crazy, I’d hate to be doing that right no….”
The positive here is when the bull shuts that guy up.
Like we said, you shouldn’t run with the bulls while drunk or high (if at all – most Stokies love the Running of the Bulls for everything BUT the bull run), but look, you’ve got to look on the bright side of everything, and if you do find yourself in the path of a rampaging bull and not feeling yourself, just try and remember this article and invoke some evasive maneuvers. And make sure you stay and play at the Running of the Bulls with Stoke Travel – we’re by far the most fun in the game.