If you’ve ever travelled abroad for a long period of time, it’s usually with next to no plan, very limited funds and an overwhelming desire to party as much as humanly possible. This is all well and good, until you actually get there and have to execute this plan, whilst trying to maintain a functional amount of self respect. You very quickly come to realise that your daily routine will be thrown out the window pretty much as soon as you get on the plane ready to settle in for your long haul flight. It is (pretty much) scientifically proven that any and all self respect physically leaves your body at the boarding gates. For example, in real life, would you ever cosy up to a complete stranger for 20+ hours, snoring loudly and sleeping with your mouth open? Probably not. When you’re travelling, you wouldn’t think twice about it. We’ve made this list of things it’s totally ok to do while travelling, mostly to make ourselves believe it’s ok to be this fucking gross, but also to let YOU know it’s totally fine to be that fucking gross.
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Wearing your undies once before washing them
At home, it’s common practice to wash your undies after you’ve worn them before wearing them again. When you’re travelling, there will come a time (multiple times) that you desperately dig through your suitcase, inspecting each pair of unwashed undies before deciding to go with the ones that are the best of a bad bunch.
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Caring about your liver
In the real world, you probably giver yourself one, (if we’re being honest, at least two) nights of the week to get royally fucked. This rule does not apply for travelling. Everyday is the weekend, and somehow, your body just knows. When you might normally be able to drink excessively Friday and Saturday before feeling like a pile of shit on Sunday, while you’re away, you will drink yourself into oblivion at least five nights a week. Heck, there probably won’t be a day where you don’t have at least one drink. 9am on a Monday? Fuck it, it’s five o’clock somewhere. You’ll probably pay for it later on in life but for now, play on player.
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Eating a vegetable every now and then
You come home from work, you cook dinner, you (maybe) eat a vegetable. When you are travelling, especially in Europe, be prepared for the majority of your meals to be bread, processed meats, cheese, beer and ice cream. You might come home carrying a few extra kilos (we’re not talking about your suitcase) but this is your official warning. YOU WILL CONSUME MANY CARBS AND IT IS TOTALLY FINE.
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Other people seeing/hearing you have sex
When you’re living in a hostel for sometimes months on end, privacy is no longer a thing. There’s no ‘we have to be quiet, my housemates are home’ it’s more like ‘we can go back to my hostel but we have to be careful not to be TOO aggressive because i’m on the top bunk and it squeaks like a mother fucker’. You get used to getting your rocks off quickly and apologising awkwardly if/when you get caught out.
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Sleeping in questionable environments
So your sheets look a little crusty and the pillow doesn’t have a case? So what, you’ll rest your weary head there anyway. There’s almost a 100% chance that you’ll be so grateful to have made it back there in one piece that you’ll take whatever you can get. You might spend a split second thinking about how nice your bed at home is, but that thought will leave as quickly as it entered when you remember the fact that you’re going to wake up in a place far away and have an ice cold beer for breakfast and if that means sleeping in a bed featuring unrecognisable substances, then so be it.
Even though these things are gross as fuck, that shouldn’t stop you from having all of the fun. So what are you waiting for? Grab your stoke passport now and enjoy it while you can.
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