LONDON, PARIS, MILAN, New YORK: The heads of absolutely every major fashion house have released an unprecedented joint statement declaring that they all agree on summer’s biggest fashion trend being a white shirt with a red neckerchief.
The group, headed up by Anna Wintour, editor of Vogue magazine and inspiration for the devil in The Devil Wears Prada, made the announcement at a fashion event in El Molino campsite, just outside Pamplona.
“Darlings, we are gathered here today, the who’s who of the world’s fashion industry, to make official what everybody has always known,” Wintour told the assembled group of eight local farmers and a lost German hiker. “We want to put on a unified front and finally give the world what it needs – clear, unequivocal fashion advice for the coming European summer.
“What people need to know is what they will be wearing while they party. We got our best and brightest together and asked them to come up with the quinnessential partying outfit. Something that you could wear to San Fermin and then pass out in and then wear again the next day. We were searching for something that, when the wearer put it on, everybody who saw them knew they meant business. Serious business. One litre of sangria before 10am business.
“What we came up with is as simple as it is stunning, a pairing of pieces that has its roots in history, but also looks boldly towards the future. We wanted to go with something deeply traditional, but also something that can be safely appropriated without fear of offending anybody.
“And here it is, a simple white t-shirt, with or without print, paired with a red neckerchief. If you want you can add white pants and a red sash used as a belt, but really, we wanted this look to be accessible to as many people as possible.
“The neckerchief can be tied around the neck with the knot in the front, or back, and if the wearer is feeling particularly frisky they can tie it around their head a la vintage Tupac. We are also ok with the white shirt only being white for the first minute or so of wearing it, and agree that a sangria, blood or tapas stained shirt will work just as well, if not better.”
The announcement was met with excitement by everybody planning on attending this year’s Running of the Bulls festival, or all the parties across Spain and Europe that mimic it sartorially. Geoff Duncan, a young Australian traveller, was quoted as saying, “Fucken sweet, was gunna wear that white shit anyway, but it’s nice to know that I’m also on trend, a la moda and tres en vogue.”
The group is expected to make another announcement about Autumn fashion, and lederhosen, in about three months’ time.
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