Travelling cretin, Jake Sampson, 28, has confirmed his status as an absolute dummy by not booking with Stoke Travel for 2018’s Running of the Bulls festival.
The A-grade moron appears to have weighed up his options and decided that it was in his best interests to book with an inferior company, despite Stoke Travel clearly offering more and charging less than the competition.
Village idiot Sampson disregarded that Stoke Travel consistently has the biggest and best crowds across all of Europe’s festivals, and stupidly wasn’t swayed by their inclusion of pre-erected tents, inflatable air mattresses and sleeping bags at no extra cost. The dunce was similarly unimpressed that Stoke Travel includes a cooked breakfast and dinner every day, as well as their €10 all-you-can-drink beer and sangria bar, and still decided to book his trip to the famous Pamplona festival with a different company that will no doubt disappoint the dimwitted traveller.
Friends say that Sampson, the stupid fuck, wasn’t even interested in Stoked in the Park – the music and culture festival that happens at Stoke Travel’s campsite during San Fermin – despite Stoke bringing in Australian and local bands and DJs, pool parties, a marketplace for local wine and produce and food trucks, making the perfect party to recover from the bull run, or to prepare for a night in the world’s biggest street fiesta.
When pressed on his utterly shithouse choice, Sampson attempted to justify the piss-poor decision making. “Yeah nah, the other campsite is a little bit closer to the Pamplona city centre, so even though I’ll still have to catch the bus every day into town, it’ll be for five minutes less.”
Artur Toro, a professor in Pamplona campgrounds at the University of Navarra, explains Sampson’s shithouse justification. “Si, the other campsite is a little closer to Pamplona city centre, but from there or from Stoke’s campsite you’ve got to catch a bus, so it doesn’t really matter. The Stoke Travel campsite is just such a better option, they’ve got plenty of grass and trees for shade, while the other one is pretty much a dust pit in the sun all day, and there’s a river running through the Stoke campsite, so that’s pretty bloody nice. That’s not even taking into consideration the massively better job that Stoke Travel does, especially with the Stoked in the Park festival, that already has 10 bands confirmed. It’s going to be sick. That Sampson guy really does seem like a fucken dummy for not choosing Stoke Travel.”
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