A brief introduction to the weirdos you’ll meet at your surf hostel.
JOSEPHINE RYAN MURPHY
Surf camps are great. One of the best things about them, is the group of like minded people you’ll meet there. You’ll eat together, surf together, party together and sleep together and you’ll leave with a love of surfing and lifelong friends. However, like anywhere, you’ll also come across a few weirdos. Here’s a quick run down so you know what you’re in for.
More than likely, acts like he’s working at the camp but is, in fact, just somebody who’s been hanging around for far too long. You’ll learn to spot them straight away. They have an aura of authority and in fairness to them, they will actually know their shit and will be friendly and helpful and a good friend to have. However, they will also spend their summer using this to manipulate fellow surfers and probably sleeping with a questionably healthy amount of them.
The Arrogant Shite
This one may or may not actually be a decent surfer, but that’s irrelevant. They’ll turn a magical time, surfing with each other into a pretty aggravating experience. Surf etiquette is one of the first things a surfer learns and regardless of their level of ability, respecting it will get you respect. This arrogant snot-nugget will be found dropping in left, right and centre and more than likely forgetting the golden rule of clinging to your board no matter what, letting it go, thrashing around and almost killing anyone around them. They’re also often the same lad who assumes no girl can surf and so steals all their waves, the fucker. You’ll see them paddling back out, blissfully unaware of the chaos they’ve caused, laughing about how much fun you’re all having surfing together while people desperately try to paddle away from them before the next set hits.
The Naïve Wanker
Get ready to hear an impressive amount of complaints about other surfers. No matter what happens out there in the water, anything that goes wrong will be that other guy’s fault – they were totally in the right position, it was their wave! They probably went surfing with their family once, three years ago, and somehow absorbed every piece of knowledge every surfer has ever had and will forcibly tell you all about it and correct everything you do, followed by bailing on every wave they go for.
The ‘Surfer Dude’
Every item of clothing they wear will belong to an overpriced surf brand and yet they’ll spend an impressive amount of time talking about how much they aspire towards the nomad surfer’s life. They’ll continue to play the soundtrack of View From A Blue Moon on repeat no matter how much people protest. They’ll insist on calling you, ‘Dude-man’, no matter how perplexed you look every time they say it. Every sentence will sound like that one time in friends when Joey used a ‘the-saurus’ for every word as they squeeze in as many surf terms as possible. They’ll find a way to turn anything at all that happens into an analogy about surfing even though it has literally nothing to do with surfing while everyone stares, eyebrows raise and incredibly confused. They may even actually say cowabunga.
The Insta-Famous Faker
The Insta-Famous Faker and actual waves are rarely seen in the same room together. Like closet mermaids, they’ll always find an excuse to stay out of the water. However a quick scroll through the Facebook or Instagram feed will reveal them for what they truly are. Where on Earth have they found all these surfboards to stand next to, shakas and all, without ever actually lying down on one?
The Genuinely Really Amazing People
While all these caricatures exist in the surfer’s natural habitat, you’ll also find that you’ll meet some of the best people you’ve come across in places like these. Because you know what? Surfing is actually pretty amazing and anyone who gives it a go, deep down, probably is too… although it may be very deep down.