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A shocking new report has come out of Europe, suggesting that Germans are seriously really  nice people. The report, gained from travellers’ experiences visiting Europe’s most populous country, suggest that the people of Deutchland are happy, welcoming, kind and fun, completely shattering all previous stereotypes.

Germans have long been thought of as the serious, humourless, hardworking Europeans, whose lack of love for life made them the ideal workers to prop up the economies of Europe’s lazier nations, but not really the people you’d want to party with. This latest report, however, throws doubt on these assumptions.

Professor Hans Burgerman of Dusseldorf University explains. “Ze Germans have for a long time suffered these incorrect stereotypes and we think it’s about time ze world knew just how nice we are. People think we are all serious because we do work hard and hardly ever smile, and that we have no humour because you have never seen us laugh, but that’s just not true. We are some of the happiest, gregarious and outgoing people you will ever meet, especially if you catch us drinking beer. Which we do for breakfast sometimes.”

Professor Burgerman explained that the stereotypes were somewhat born out of linguistics and history. “People say that ze German language is harsh, and we admit that it can be, but only when it has to be. Have you ever had a fair Bavarian maiden tell you Ich liebe dich? Or perhaps a helpful young man has offered you a Keine problem when you knocked over his Jagermeister? It is really a beautiful tongue, when you’re not being yelled at. As for ze history, well, what can we do? We did some bad things, but zat’s why we’re trying now to be extra nice now.”

Bridget Clapton, a young traveller from the States, has confirmed that the Germans really are actually kind of pretty nice. “Oh ya, so when I went to Munich for Springfest I just assumed that all the Germans were harsh, you know? All that SPRECHEN SIE DEUTSCH? stuff, plus they’re like the bad guys in every movie. But then I went there and everybody was sooooo lovely! They were really welcoming, invited me to dance on their tables with them, taught me how to say cheers… PROST! and just generally shattered all of the negative stereotypes. Wünderbar!”

But some analysts are warning travellers to not take the reports too seriously. “Yeah sure, the Germans are nice now, but have you ever been to a German comedy show? “hat do they even laugh at? What’s funny for a German? Bad engineering? Are all the jokes about bad engineering? Or poorly brewed beer? Ja have you seen the engine mounts on the new Toyota? Zey are like beer made without bubbles, and das isn’t güd. I just don’t know what they find funny, so I don’t know if they can actually be nice”, asked an activist from the anti-German thinktank, BratWORST.

Stoke Travel knows that Germans are actually really super nice people, because we spend a month with them every year for Springfest (and then another for Oktoberfest). You should join us and see for yourself just how actually really nice they can be. They are SUPER!

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The office of the U.S. ambassador to Spain reported Thursday that they were considering 20-year-old University of Texas student Carter Cormann for a cultural attaché position.  “As far as we’re concerned, Cormann’s five months in Barcelona have totally qualified him to consult on sensitive cross-cultural issues at home and abroad,” a representative told Stoke News.

Stoke reached out to Cormann for comment on his apparent mastery of the Spanish way of life.  “When I was in Spain, I really got to know the people,” he said.  “I spent a lot of time drinking cerveza and eating tapas with mis amigos.”

Stating they were unbothered by Cormann’s lack of degree and political experience, the office of the ambassador emphasized how much the young excursionist had impressed them during an extensive interview process.

“We’re technically required to spend months completing background checks, verifying qualifications and vetting references before we hire anybody,” said a source close to the Ambassador.  “But from the first time Cormann said ‘When I was in Barthelona..,” I think we were all convinced.”

While it was apparent that he had a strong command of Spanish linguistics, the savvy student shattered any reservations still held by the hiring committee with a deep understanding of tense political issues.

One diplomat told Stoke that, although officially the U.S. supports a unified Spain, Cormann’s passionate summary of the Catalan independence movement had him close to tears.

“I really understand how the Catalan people feel,” Cormann told Stoke. “They’re stuck in something that they really want to leave, which is how I felt in pretty much all my classes.” What’s more, although  based in Barcelona, Cormann insisted that his weekend trips to Valencia, Sevilla and Madrid gave him license to comment on Spain as a whole.

“It’s clear to me that [Cormann] is very dedicated to representing Spanish ideals,” said an embassy official. “We took him out to dinner to officially offer the position, and he insisted we change our reservation to 9 p.m. at the earliest.”

At press time, the juvenile connoisseur had not yet accepted the offer, saying “I want to look around at all my options first.  The embassy won’t even give me an hour for siesta!”

Fancy becoming an expert yourself? Stoke Barcelona will be your party ambassadors on land and sea.  

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Josh Seemann un joven californiano que esta dando mucho que hablar con su espectacular  surfing, un soplo de aire fresco, una mezcla de clasicismo, con un toque de innovación, que lleva el longboard a otro nivel.
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A long-term study conducted across everybody everywhere forever has confirmed that you are actually a better version of yourself drunk than sober.

The study supports what we’ve long believed about ourselves, and acts as an official justification for having “just one more” repeatedly, until having one more is no longer an option.

The scienticians behind the study have found that when drunk absolutely everybody achieves personal bests in the key performance indicators (KPIs) of attractiveness, humour and dancing ability, otherwise known as the three pillars of being awesome.

“The study shows that even just one standard drink will make you a better person, be it a beer, wine or tequila shot, and that it’s effective any time of day,” explained lead scientist, Dave Boon. “We have shown that people who put Baileys in their morning coffee can start the day being the best possible version of themselves and continue on that high throughout the day just by regular topping up with a cheeky shandy here or there.”

But while the studies into day drinking will be comforting to some of the more seasoned partiers, or pretty much anybody on holidays, it’s the unequivocal findings into having a tipple at nighttime that will appeal to most drinkers.

“When somebody heads out at night in a social situation, we have found that not only does having  drink make them a better person, it often makes them the only version of themself that can survive in that socialising environment –  when they were sober just the idea of going into the club filled them with dread, but after few drinks it was almost like they were born to do it. Just like a fish’s gills enable them to live in an underwater environment, our studies show that drinking alcohol gives people the tools necessary to survive socially.”

The study was completed by asking people what they thought of themselves while sober and then compared the responses with the same questions asked while drunk. Without fail the participants thought that they were more physically attractive, absolutely hilarious and devastating on the dancefloor after a few drinks, while on the contrary they often didn’t think they were much to look at, not funny at all and too embarrassed to dance when dry.

Critics of the study have raised concerns that just taking someone’s opinion of themselves is unethical, as while they may think they’re killing it, literally everybody around them may think that they’re acting like a complete dick. They propose that in order to do a more complete study, people should be at least forced to watch videos of their drunk selves the next day, preferably whilst in the grips of a particularly regret-filled hangover.

But Boon was dismissive of the criticisms. “We would ask anybody who doesn’t believe in the study to have a few drinks and then tell us how they feel. We guarantee that they’ll agree with us that they’re hotter, more charming and a hotshot on the dancefloor after as few as two “Jaeger bombs”. We’re always being told to not worry about what anyone thinks of us, so if we think we’re top shit after a few cans of beer, who’s to tell us we’re not?”

If you feel like feeling great about yourself, why not join Stoke Travel for one of our many alcohol assisted adventures, like Springfest, the great April-May beer festival, or Stoked in the Park, our party program during Pamplona’s running of the bulls. Heck, during most of these parties we provide somewhat free beer, so being the best possible version of you won’t break the bank either. Bottom’s up!

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Otro año mas la gente de MC TAVISH surfboards a reunido a un nutrido grupo de buenos surfers, con sus tablas gliders, tablas enormes y diferentes donde prima el “TRIM” y el deslizamiento puro y donde el noseriding pasa a un segundo plano. 2018 McTavish Trim Lineup: Victoria Vergara Jared Mell Brett Caller Bryce Young […]
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En apenas 59 dias tendremos el MEXILOGFEST organizado por nuestro amigo Israel Preciado, una fiesta del surfing que reunirá a muchos de los mejores longboarders mundiales, en la maravillosa ola de La Saladita. Este certamen se ha consolidado gracias a la constancia de Israel y su equipo, los apoyos no son muchos, los suplen con imaginación […]
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America is catching a lot of negative attention lately, especially about its love affair with a certain gun-toting dispenser of cash.  We here at Stoke feel deeply for all those rich old white guys who treasure the NRA so dearly, as we too are vocal advocates. Not of anything that has its own magazine, mind you (guns, doctors’ offices, angsty anarcho-punks) but there are a few NRA’s that we’re big fans of.  Check out some of Stoke’s favorite kinds of NRA (hint, none of them can kill somebody).

 

Never Raging Alone

Nobody wants to party solo, Stoke included.  That’s why we invite thousands of travelers to get weird with us at events like Stoked in the Park, Ibiza Beach Camp, and our Barcelona Boat Parties.  We want to make sure everybody has a chance to cut loose, so we take the stress out of partying by giving you guys a Stokie of your very own to guide you around the 20+ festivals and events we visit every year.

Naked Run-Arounds

There’s not many things a Stokie loves more than stripping down, dropping trow, and going for a good frolic in our birthday suit.  In fact, we like feeling the breeze between our knees so much that we’ve dedicated an afternoon to it.  Anybody can run with the bulls, but only Stoke sheds its skivvies and bares it all through the streets of Pamplona for our annual undie run. We certainly don’t need an excuse to let it all hang out, though.  If there wasn’t a full moon or two, was it even a Stoke party?

Nap-Ready Accommodation

We know our guests sometimes need some beauty sleep to reach their full partying potential, so we’ll have your tent, mattress, and bedroll ready for you when you check in at any of our events.  There’s only one kind of tent we want our guests pitching, and that’s…well you know.  Because all you should have to worry about when you turn up is what you want your first drink to be.

No Regrets Allowed

A hard-and-fast philosophy we take very seriously at Stoke Travel. That’s not to say we don’t do some regrettable things-far from it.  But why waste precious party time fretting over spilled booze?  We’ve all made asses of ourselves more times than we care to remember, so you’ll catch no judgement at Casa de Stoke.  So keep your head high and your standards low, and go ahead and have another drink.  With unlimited beer and sangria available for only €10 a day, who’s counting?

Nice, Rational Arguments

Stoke parties are a safe space for all people, no matter where you’re from and what you believe.  We’re big fans of the open exchange of ideas.  It’s not hard to change a Stokie’s mind with a considerate, rational argument, but as of yet we haven’t heard any of those coming from the arms-bearers of the world.  So why not hang up those assault rifles and join in on the next Stoke party–  we promise that while you’re here with us, the state of the union will be the last thing on your mind.

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First time glamper and Springfest attendee Hannah Twomley returned home to the UK Monday, surprising friends and family with a newfound fondness of the great outdoors.

“I almost didn’t recognize her,” said long-time friend Stephan Casey. “She hadn’t washed her hair, and on the ride from the airport I don’t think she complained even once.”

Admittedly a novice at camping, Twomley told Stoke she was apprehensive about the trip before she arrived.  “Normally you’d never catch me dead in some hippie’s teepee,” Twomley said, “but something just came over me.”

Tanya Foust, Twomley’s travelling companion at Springfest, reported her apprehension at the start of the trip.  “We got there and immediately I’m like, ‘Oh god, what have I subjected myself to?’” Foust said.  “[Twomley] got to the tent and starting plugging things into the included outlets, testing the wifi, and I was just holding my breath.”

But to Foust’s surprise, the outrage never came.

“Even though there was only one full-length mirror, and the bedding included with our elevated mattresses was only, like, 300 thread count, she didn’t seem to be freaking out at all.”

“When they showed us around the campsite, sure, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to make it,” Twomley told friends back home.  “I mean, after all, there was only one bar, a shop, a cafe, a food cart, and a few dozen hot showers. But they handed me a drink when I turned up, and for whatever reason, I realized I didn’t even care that it was in a plastic cup!”

In fact, Twomley’s self-described out-of-body experience lasted for the rest of the trip. People who met her described the normally-neurotic traveler as “fun,” “easy-going,” and “a girl who really knows how to party.”

When asked about the apparent 180° turn her personality took, Twomley told Stoke she was as surprised as everybody else.  “I don’t know, really.  At first I thought I was possessed or something, but I guess I had it in me all along.”

“The first day or two, I thought she was just being really brave about the hundreds of people partying, getting naked, and just generally making a huge mess, but eventually I realized she was genuinely enjoying herself,” said Foust.

“I sort of feel like a different person now,” Twomley said in the aftermath of the festival, her voice hoarse and twinged with pride.  “Like, I’m a lot tougher than I knew.  The old me would have sooner died than drunk a shoey, but after my first five or six, I felt like I could do anything!”

When asked for a comment, representatives at Stoke said, “Who? Oh, that girl with her knickers over her face? Yeah, she was wild.”

 

If you’re trying to see some of Europe’s best festivals, but can’t be bothered to rough it with the plebeians, check out our glorious glamping palaces available for Springfest, Oktoberfest, The Running of the Bulls, and our beach camps in Zarautz and Ibiza.

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Hoy trasteando por la red me he llevado una grata sorpresa al encontrar estos vìdeos, de la joven hawaiana Nini Narvaez, gracilidad, tranquilidad y mucho flow  transmite sobre la tabla, un soplo de aire fresco, el surfing de Nini. Filmado y editado Dans Surf Videos MúsicaThe Ventures – Moon Over Manakoora Y aquí uno mas cortito con […]
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Landlubber, Steven Wills, 23, has come to the conclusion that the ideal future for him is one spent swashbuckling across the seven seas.

The sealeg-less traveller had the realisation while sunning himself on the deck of a Croatian party boat, just after receiving a delicious chef-cooked lunch, while on his 8th beer for the day, somewhere between an idyllic ancient port city and yet another spectacular city.

“Yep, that’s me done. Looks like from here on in i’ll be hoisting the mainsail and cutting the bowlines loose. I have no idea why I didn’t get into sailing sooner, it’s the ultimate in freedom and the travelling is practically free,” exclaimed the poor swimmer whose knot tying prowess extends to shoelaces and no further.

“This is the life!”, he continued, “Ploughing my way from port to port, finding wenches in each, maybe take up smuggling for an extra bit o’ booty, yaharrrr I can see meself become a real ol’ salty sea dog.”

Wills reportedly came to the conclusion while lounging around in a hammock as the boat’s crew did all the work, failing to offer a helping hand once, even though any boat work he did would have counted as invaluable experience for someone newly devoted to the seafaring life.

In fact, when the captain of the purpose-built Croatian sailing skiff asked Wills to simply pass along a piece of rope, the newly minted mariner let out an audible groan, before dragging himself from his sun soaked perch to make a huge deal out of performing the basic task, threatening to make the 50-year career sailor “scrub the deck” if he isn’t careful.

Nevertheless, Wills is holding fast to his future life cavorting across the world’s oceans, and fellow boatmates on the Sail Croatia trip reported that he would spend hours on end staring out to sea,talking about far off lands and long lost wenches that the first time traveller has obviously never been to nor met.

Wills had gone so far that, despite Stoke Travel being the only sail Croatia operator that offers unlimited beer and sangria for only €10 per day, he refused to drink anything but rum, claiming that the fire water would protect him from scurvy.

At the time of publication Wills was looking into getting an anchor tattoo, as well as something featuring swallows, cementing his walk along the gangplank and into the fulltime seafarer’s life.

Stoke Travel sails Croatia this summer, where all you’ll be expected to do is sit back, soak up the sun and enjoy yourself. We make sure that your boat is full of party-loving legends and that the unlimited beer and sangria bar is always fully stocked. Check out the itinerary and reserve your space now, ye barnacles.

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