Categoría: Uncategorized

According to various experts, that Bavarian Bathsheba who poured your last liter was definitely checking you out.  Sources confirm that, among the several thousand men she served during the festival, nobody pulled off that lederhosen like you did.

Stoke News heard rumors of the modern-day fairy tale that took place during Springfest, and went to investigate.  With help from various witnesses, experts, and a composite of phone videos taken around that magical moment, Stoke was able to piece together the events that led to your soul recognizing its boozy counterpart in another.

One witness claims it all started around your fourth liter.  “I saw him make his way to the bar, and he tripped a little bit but caught himself.  Then he locked eyes with the barmaid, and that’s when I knew that something wonderful was happening.”

Videos of the scene clearly show the buxom bierfrau getting lost in your eyes as you butcher the pronunciation of ein liter bitte. It’s hard to say exactly what drew her to you so immediately.  Some think it was the wet spot on your shirt from when you’d spilled your beer earlier that day, while others are sure it was the unshaven, unwashed appearance you’d cultivated over several nights of camping.  Whatever the cause, the result was obvious.

One expert weighed in on the scene.  “Here, as she puts the beer down in front of him, we can see her bending over just so, baring her ample bosom for our subject,” the expert said.  “Her body language and attitude are all indicative of a mating ritual.”

“Sparks were flying, for sure,” said one Springfest visitor who witnessed the scene.  “The way she looked at him and demanded ‘zehn euro,’ I got chills.”

Indeed, your primal display of courtship left an impression on those that witnessed it.  During our research, Stoke was bombarded by questions about what became of your whirlwind affair.

When asked for a comment, the siren of steins seemed confused at first.  “What?” she said. Eventually, though, and with a loving twinkle in her eye, our hoppy heroine recalled. “You mean the boy who wouldn’t stop staring at meine brüste? He’s cut off.”

Don’t worry though, everybody knows she’s just playing hard to get.

Are you the lederhosened Lothario of legend? Only one way to find out. Well two, actually.

The post Sources Confirm, That Bierfrau is Definitely Into You appeared first on Stoke Travel.

Source: https://stoketravel.com/feed/

Source: http://www.revistahangten.com/feed/

We’ve all got those people in our lives, those who go on a holiday once and become the Dalai Lama of travel wisdom, burdening their social media feed with all manner of appropriated and often misquoted travel quotes. Heck, we’re all guilty of being that person, at some point in our lives. 

It’s great! They’re great! Travelling’s great! We’re great! But some of these quotes aren’t exactly accurate, are they, and really we think there’s more value in making up our own quotes that apply specifically to us, because:

There are as many types of travllers as there are people in the world.

See, we just made that up, and isn’t it nice. Anyway, here are some other travel quotes that we consistently come across that we just can’t help but make a little fun of…

All those who wander aren’t lost

That’s right, it’s true, it would be a folly to assume that everybody wandering around was lost. Some people are just ineffective walkers and others perhaps enjoy dawdling, or have tired legs, or perhaps are a little drunk and just seem to be meandering when they’re really sort of stumbling. BUT, if somebody is walking around aimlessly it’s a better indication that they’re lost than if they’re striding with purpose. Lost people are never moving quickly and effectively because what’s the point in making good time when you don’t know where you’re going?

Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer

That’s a really nice thought, but it absolutely disregards all the other things you can buy that make you richer, like stocks, property, drugs for resale, old stamps, football cards, work boots, fake tits and Bitcoins. It actually does seem that many of the people who once told us that travel is the only purchasable commodity that increases our wealth are now telling us that Bitcoin is the best way to get rich quick. You really can’t take these people seriously.

The world is a book and those who don’t travel read only one page

This one is particularly bullshitty. The world is nothing like a book, not in shape nor in the way content is delivered. It’s more like a round television, with sights and sounds and stories that are being constantly updated. But ok, ok, it’s a metaphor. So the world is a book, therefore it’s a story with a beginning, middle and end. Great! Now which page do the non-travellers read? The cover? Every person who doesn’t travel has read the cover? I would postulate that even those who don’t go on extended holidays and other movement based adventures can be completely familiar with the beginning and most of the middle of the book, because nobody’s claiming that travel makes you a historian, or a physicist, or an evolutionary biologist, right? Are travellers saying that they are readers of the whole book, and thus able to see the future? Ridiculous.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step

This one is tough to argue against, although it does leave out people in wheelchairs and rollerbladers, but what this travel quote fails to mention is that after that first step the journey of a thousand miles then contains another, approximately, 1,999,999 steps, each one more difficult than that first step we’re all making such a song and dance about. How about we give each and every of those other steps some respect, like, The journey of a thousand miles is made possible by the all too difficult 587,006th step? Why does the first step get all the kudos, it’s likely the easiest to do. Literally pick up your rucksack and take a step. I would say that the step immediately after that first one would be more difficult and perhaps more worthy of praise.

Something about the journey being more important than the destination

Absolutely horseshit and abviously spread by somebody who’s never stayed with Stoke Travel. The journey is a bus ride, a long check in queue at the airport, a speeding fine, blisters on the top of both your little toes. The journey is lugging your gear, getting a sore arse, committing your mortality to the irrational acceleration of a meth-addled Thai bus driver. The destination, however, is when you take your shoes off and jump on the bed, crack open a cold beer, have a shower, meet your new friends, have a dance on the dancefloor, make out with some never-before-known hottie – basically everything yuo do at the destination kicks the journeys arse. Fuck the journey, make it as painless as possible without putting you into debt, and lap up the delights at the destination.

Which travel quotes grind your gears? Share them with us. Also, if you want to have some good, honest, old fashioned, quote-free travelling fun, why not grab yourself a Stoke Travel Passport. 12 nights of all-inclusive across 20+ destinations and all for €550. Get in there! 

The post Inspirational Travel Quotes, Busted! appeared first on Stoke Travel.

Source: https://stoketravel.com/feed/

Not to be left behind by the wave of pro-women sentiment sweeping over the world, Stoke Travel CEO Tony Paraless took the opportunity today to announce that he, and the company, “Completely loves chicks. Absolutely. Even the really bitchy ones.”

The enlightened announcement came after the CEO realised that not only are more than half of Stoke Travel guests female, but that the staff both on destination and in the office outnumbered the men by at least two-to-one.

“Fuck, just take a look around”, Tony said, gesturing at the majority of Stoke Travel employees who only have X chromosomes, “If I didn’t say that I loved birds I’d get eaten alive by this lot.”

Often cast as a “blokey”, “laddy” or “frat guy” brand that caters to travellers’ puerile desires to drink as much beer as possible, Paraless insists that isn’t because Stoke Travel favours one sex over the other.

“Since the beginning we’ve definitely had more female guests than anything, except maybe for Running of the Bulls, and I can tell you that from a cost perspective the women definitely put as much of a dent in our unlimited beer and sangria budget as the men do. People think that things like beer bongs and nude runs are exclusively for guys, but I think that’s sexist. We absolutely encourage women to do nudie runs too!

“Plus, female money is just as good as any other money, and when there are heaps of girls around all the guys are quicker to reach for their wallets and show off by buying drinks for everybody. Really, having more female guests is a win-win for everybody.”

Notoriously a male-dominated event, Paraless and Stoke Travel plan on reversing that trend and want to attract more women to Pamplona this year than ever before.

“One of the worst things in travel is seeing a huge bunch of guys turn up to an event, too much testosterone in one place never makes for a good party. So this year we’re thinking, what do women want, and creating a Sanfermines program that’s more attractive to the fairer sex.

“So this year we’re focusing more on the street party, you know, long sunny days drinking sangria and dancing in the streets, watching the fireworks at night, plus we’re putting on Stoked in the Park, which will feature pool parties and live music – bands, DJs, you name it, if the tarts don’t get around this event, then nobody will!”

When questioned whether his choice to champion women on International Women’s Day was opportunistic, Paraless was dismissive. “I’ve loved chicks my whole life mate. Apart from one time in Canada I’ve exclusively hooked up with sheilas, and that time I didn’t know it was a dude until it was too late.”

Have an empowering International Women’s Day from everybody at Stoke Travel, and while this article is satire, we are deadly serious about you bitches being the absolute backbone of this company, both as guests and the people running the show. See you at Pamplona!

The post On International Women’s Day Stoke Travel Announces “We Love Chicks” appeared first on Stoke Travel.

Source: https://stoketravel.com/feed/

Cuando empezamos hace unos años atrás con Hangten magazine ya tuvimos el placer de daros a conocer al protagonista de hoy, KIKO CABRERA, un longboarder canario que ya nos deleitó entonces con su manejo del longboard.   Aparición de KIKO en el N2 de nuestra revista 2013 El surf de kiko destaca por su potencia, que viene […]
Source: http://www.revistahangten.com/feed/

Picture this: you’re in Spain, standing in the middle of nowhere. The only people around are locals who don’t speak English, and they’re shooting Spanish words at you like you’re a target in a game of paintball. You just want to go home, but you don’t know where it is or if you’ve even got a place to stay.

In situations like this, wouldn’t it be nice to speak Spanish? Luckily for you, our friends at Suspanish have the best language courses in cities across Spain, all on one website. You just have to find the one that suits you best!  We know that legends like you have gotten pretty far with just the language your mama gave you, but here’s four more mint reasons to brush up that Spanish.

1. Wasted snacks are the best snacks

Obviously we don’t mean throwing food away, we’re talking about those snacks you’ll shove into your mouth while you’re drunk. What’s better than ending a great night out with a tasty, fatty snack? But to order food, you’ll need to make yourself clear en Espagnol, or you might end up with something completely different than what you had in mind. Make sure you can speak enough Spanish to order that juicy hamburger, otherwise you’ll end up with nothing but regret and the leftovers from your fridge.

2.   ¡No hablo Ingles!

At non-touristic places especially, it can be hard finding somebody who understands you. Most Spaniards don’t speak English very well, if at all. Not being able to communicate can be frustrating, and frustrated people do the craziest things. So prevent yourself from ending up in a situation like this, and just take a damn language course!

3. Pick up a Spanish hottie

Imagine: you’re standing in a bar and you catch a glimpse of the most gorgeous human being you’ve ever seen. This could be the love of your life (or just a good bang!) and you want to make a good first impression, so you pull out your smoothest pick-up line. They give you a weird look and say ‘’no hablo d’Inglès.’’ Uh-oh! Now you have two choices: keep struggling through the language barrier in hopes your looks will be enough, or give up. After a few awkward minutes of staring and trying to understand one another, you decide to walk away, all the while regretting that you didn’t take that language course when you had the chance.

4. Find your way in life

You’ve been in Spain for two weeks, and since it’s a big country, you’ve gotten lost several times already. Right now you’re standing in the middle of nowhere. You’ve tried explaining that you’re lost, but everybody either doesn’t understand, or they can only give directions in Spanish. What is ‘’a la derecha?’’ What does ‘’todo recto’’ mean? With a Spanish course from Suspanish under your belt, you can spend more time enjoying Spain and less time trying to find your way. It makes life a hell of a lot easier!

Do you want to prevent awkward, sad, lonely and frustrating situations like this? Check out our partner Suspanish

The post Four Mint Reasons to Learn Spanish appeared first on Stoke Travel.

Source: https://stoketravel.com/feed/

The days of waiting are almost over for Valencia’s largest festival, Las Fallas. Before you know it, it will be La Crema (the day of the burning) and everyone will be dancing in the streets with sangria flowing through their veins and all their pyromaniac fantasies coming true. From the authentic paella to the 8am fire poppers to get you off your hungover ass, this one of a kind spanish fiesta will be one to remember (or not depending on how much sangria you consume). Before you head off to the fiery land, we wanted to make a list of things to help you have a literal lit af time.

Ear Plugs

…if you want to be a little bitch. This is a festival where the noise has no limit, the nights truly never end, and a cute little three year old with a small “little” firework could actually be the most dangerous thing you’ve encountered in months.

Sneakers

Sure, trying to run full speed in flip flops while simultaneously trying to dodge a firework you just set off is humorous for the rest of us, and it just might even help us gain followers from the video we upload of you, we’re not sure if it’s in your best interest. But hey, by all means be our guest, we won’t not laugh at you.

Form Fitting Clothes

This seems a bit off, but you’ll be thanking us when your scarf doesn’t accidently catch fire and all of sudden you’re up in flames just like the fallas and ninots that are crashing to the ground as you were trying to Snapchat them to your friends back home.

Your Mates

There’s something about chugging sangria, dancing, and zigzagging your way through a crowd of thousands of people from all over the world at 3AM with the best group of belligerent bastards that you could ask for. If you’ve taken it upon yourself to do your own self-fulfilling, soul seeking, solo traveling but are trying to party like you never have (or remember) don’t be afraid to join our crew of like minded miscreants for this fiesta of a lifetime.

Cash For Paella  

Seriously, Las Fallas festival aside, get the fucken paella in Valencia. Take a quick break from inhaling sangria to give your system enough of a reload to get you through the entire night and into the morning. Valencia is the birthplace of paella valenciana and one would be a fool not to give this authentic dish a try. So don’t be a damn fool.

Condoms

After a weird, freaky, and liquored up night one can only try and take the necessary steps to avoid having to give up 18 years of your own freedom to care of a little bastard. Be weird, be safe, and most importantly, be sure to not produce any fallas babies.

Don’t just take our word for it, come check out this lit af experience for yourself.

The post Las Fallas Checklist appeared first on Stoke Travel.

Source: https://stoketravel.com/feed/

El pasado fin de semana, nos fuimos a visitar la galería de nuestra amiga Paula, OHZ, en el centro de Oviedo. Conocimos a Paula en los Quasimotos en Burriana, siendo ella la artista que se encargó del diseño del cartel y de las camisetas de la cuarta edición. En su vuelta a Asturias, Paula ha sido […]
Source: http://www.revistahangten.com/feed/

Officials at Munich’s Fruhlingsfest, better known as Springfest, have instituted a new minimum-drunkenness requirement for the carnival at this year’s festival.  Meant to combat dangerous under-indulgence, the proposed policy change would require anybody wishing to board one of the festival’s massive carnival rides to provide adequate proof of inebriation.

“Fruhlingsfest is a fun time, and most people know how to enjoy the holiday appropriately,” said festival official Jannes Biergeliebter.  “Every year, however, we have some people who let themselves get much too sober, and it can ruin things for everybody.”

Biergeliebter explained that the rule was adopted only after careful consideration.  “We want people to enjoy Fruhlingsfest in their own way, but sometimes you must be firm to preserve the integrity of the festival.”

According to the new regulation, rides at Springfest’s carnival will enforce minimum inebriation requirements that vary from ride to ride.  Some rides, like the ferris wheel, will only demand that riders be under the influence of two or three liters. Other, more adventurous rides will have steeper expectations.

“Basically, the faster it spins, the more pissed you’ll have to be,” said Heinrich Gotz, who works at the carnival.  Gotz and other carnival crew members are currently going through training to recognize and quantify states of wastedness in preparation for the April 20th opening.

“To get into the fun house, for example, usually it’s enough just to be talking too loudly,” Gotz said.  “There are a couple rides with much stricter requirements, though. For the rides that spin upside down, I probably won’t let you on unless you need help standing in line.”

“Training our carnival workers is a way of keeping the process fair,” said Biergeliebter. “Everybody expresses their tipsiness differently.  For example, I often tell colleagues how much I love and respect them after only two liters, but I don’t begin to slur until a half dozen. By learning how to identify the signs, we can ensure that nobody gets too clear-headed.”

Biergeliebter is very excited to see the proposed changes in action.  “If everything works like it should, we will see much fewer visitors who are endangering the mood by under-indulging.”

Meet us at Springfest and prove you can maintain a festival-appropriate level of intoxication. Check here for examples of acceptable behavior.  

The post New Springfest Policy: “You Must Be This Drunk to Ride” appeared first on Stoke Travel.

Source: https://stoketravel.com/feed/

We know it can be hard to imagine a time in Ibiza that wouldn’t be better spent partying. Trust us when we say that there’s plenty of champagne and, ahem..other vices to fill your days, but Spring Break is also a great time to explore the rest of the island.  The tourist season isn’t quite in full swing yet, so visitors can enjoy off-season prices in the same great weather that draws millions every summer.

Catch the sunset in Sant Antoni

Sant Antoni de Portmany is a harbor city and nightlife hub on the west coast of Ibiza.  Stoke’s Spring Break Ibiza trip is based in Sant Antoni, so this is a great way to kill a couple hours before the party starts heating up.  Head down to the harbor and have a snack or a couple drinks while enjoying the fantastic sunsets that Sant Antoni is known for.  Be sure to get there early, though.  While Ibiza is much less crowded in spring, don’t expect to find a seat if you show up 10 minutes before the sun goes down.  For a longer excursion, take a hike up to Torre des Savinar (often called the Pirate’s Tower) for unparalleled views of the mysterious Vedra Island that looms off Ibiza’s west coast.

Visit Ibiza’s Old Town

Dalt Vila (Upper Town) is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and well worth an afternoon. The historic district features steep streets lined with whitewashed, gothic spanish architecture and huge medieval ramparts.  Take your walking shoes and a few spare hours to explore this maze of hidden gems, world-class restaurants, and stunning views. Be sure to come in through the main gate – Portal de Ses Taules – for the full effect.

Get a delicious authentic meal

One of our favorite things about Spring Break Ibiza is that it’s still technically in the off-season.  Everything on the island jacks prices up in the summer, but in April, things are still priced pretty reasonably. Why not take an evening off the party life, put on a fresh shirt, and enjoy the best meal you’ve had in ages? Mediterranean Spanish food is simple and diverse, with plenty of fresh seafood and fantastic vegetarian options.  For a truly memorable meal, try some spiny blue lobster (a delicious variety rarely found outside the Balearic Islands).

Day trip to formentera

If you somehow find yourself bored with the island of hedonism, try hopping on a ferry for a day trip to Formentera, the island next door to Ibiza.  Formentera is one of the last paradise islands left in the Mediterranean.  It manages to strike a balance between nature conservancy and tourism, and the only way there is by boat from either the mainland or Ibiza.  This keeps Formentera a tranquil slice of heaven, with over 20 km of natural beaches.  Formentera is also a gorgeous place to snorkel because it’s natural geography creates uniquely clean water and allows for an underwater jungle (also a UNESCO site) to grow just off the coast. The ferry only takes half an hour, but Formentera is an easy place to spend an entire day.

Hire a car/scooter and explore

Car/scooter hires are priced very reasonably in the off-season, and can be a great way to explore Ibiza.  Nothing compares with the freedom to explore that having your own transport can provide.  Ibiza is full of nature preserves and beautiful scenery.  Es Broll is a short drive from Sant Antoni, and offers amazing views of a verdant valley dotted with natural pools and agricultural terraces. Sa Talaiassa, in the south of the island, is the highest point in Ibiza, and you can reach the summit by car/scooter or by foot (roughly 5 km round trip).  The Ses Salines Park is a huge nature reserve featuring natural salt marshes and hundreds of species of birds.  Finally, some popular beaches on Ibiza include Cala d’Hort, Cala Saladeta, and Playa Cala Xarraca (a shallow cove popular for snorkeling)

Just remember, there will be plenty of time at Spring Break Ibiza that you don’t remember, so be sure to do something you can tell friends at home about.

The post What To Do Between Parties: Ibiza appeared first on Stoke Travel.

Source: https://stoketravel.com/feed/