7 Things You Should Know Before King’s Day 

By Nicola Donovan 

Ah Amsterdam, the Dutch capital known for its red lights, cannabis and canals. No one knows how to party quite like the Dutchies, and King’s Day is without a doubt their loosest celebration of the year. 

This April, join Stoke as they celebrate the King’s birthday bash in Amsterdam. But before you book, here are some things to keep in mind for the big day. 

  1. Wear Orange Everything

During King’s Day, the streets, canals, parks and bars are all saturated orange. Do as the Dutch and cover yourself head-to-toe in the colour. This is the only day you can go full ginger with zero judgement. 

Come prepared and bring your own gear, or trade a beer for someone’s orange beanie at the camp, but don’t wait until the day to buy your full outfit. It will be overpriced and even novelty items that are usually dirt-cheap can fetch an eye-watering amount on King’s Day if it’s the right colour.

  1. Bring your own drinks

One of the best things about this festival of madness is that you can legally drink on the streets for the day. While there are plenty of bars and pubs for you to stumble into, it’s a lot cheaper to bring your own backpack of booze.

Supermarkets sell all types of alcohol and are open on the day, so be sure to stock up before they run dry.

Before the drinking begins, last longer by lining your stomachs every morning and night with an included breakfast and dinner, courtesy of team Stoke.

  1. Bag a Bargain 

King’s Day is also set aside for tax-free selling, so you’ll see the streets turn into one of the world’s largest flea markets. Bring your bartering boots and grab a bargain on the streets lined with vendors trying to sell their second-hand goods. 

  1. King’s Night is Just As Crazy 

Turn your Amsterdam trip into a bender by celebrating the craziness that is King’s Night. Not a lot of visitors know, but the night before King’s Day is an equally (if not more so) crazy celebration for the nation. 

Try not to completely ruin yourself before the big day though; you don’t want to waste King’s Day with a hangover. 

  1. Bring Spare Change 

Nothing’s worse than finally winning the hunt for a restroom, only to be told it will cost you 50 cents to 1 Euro to relieve your bladder. Not only is having to pay to go to the toilet bullshit, but it’s the norm in Amsterdam (as like most of Europe). 

Don’t get stuck crossing your legs and dancing from foot to foot, while frantically screaming at strangers for some coins, be prepared and make sure you always have some cash.

This goes for drinks as well. If you run out of booze from your backpack, there are plenty of street stalls waiting to refill your bladder, in exchange for cash. 

  1. Party on a Boat 

By taking to the canals, you’ll get an unreal perspective of the city, and there’s no better day to board a boat than the King’s birthday.

Turning into a sea of orange, the canals are crammed with party people, blasting music and boat-hopping. Just be careful not to fall in, trust us when we say you don’t want to find out what’s in those waters. 

  1. Squares of Madness 

The city turns into one gigantic party for the day, with street parties, open-air dance festivals and clubs opening their doors – so you won’t have any trouble finding a place to celebrate. Live music spills out onto the street from nearby pubs, as DJ’s set up for the day in public squares. 

Lucky for you, Stoke are Europe’s festival specialists and will help you to navigate the insanity of King’s Day.  

Want to join in on the fun? Of course you do – book here and thank us later. 

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BREAKING: Facebook Doesn’t Like It When We Swear, The Firetrucking Sea Hunts

It has been revealed that much of Stoke Travel’s groundbreaking news and current affairs content isn’t reaching its audience due to Facebook’s restrictions on crabby language.

The content, most likely referencing patrying, booze sex, drugs or an awesome combination of the bunch, has reached only a fraction of Stoke Travel’s audience, likely due to the social media platform’s puritanical guidelines.

“It’s absolute balderdash,” typed an indignant content creator, “if we want to mother trucking swear like sailors then these dingleberries should let us. All of our travellers are adults! If they’re old enough to vote, to go and fight in wars, and to have multiple children to as many partners, then they’re old enough to bear witness to some swear words. This is bullspit.”

But Heidi Rogers, from Stoke Travel’s marketing team, had a different opinion. “We’ve been telling these jerk offs this for ages. They think they’re so cool and edgy because they swear, but nobody even sees their articles because of it. What we’re suggesting is that they tone down the naughty words a little and create some content that can get shared around our network. Swearing for swearing’s sake is lazy, as is relying on low-hanging ‘edgy’ content related to partying to grab the audience’s attention.”

Despite these quite reasonable requests, the lazy content team has remained defiant. “Gadzooks! What are we going to start writing about? Top 10 Greek Islands to see this summer? How to pack a backpack in three easy steps? The hottest Spanish fiestas… actually, those ideas are pretty good. Let’s spin them Stoke style though. Top 10 Greek Islands to get lucky at. How to pack light so you’ve got more space for vodka. How to be the hottest person at Spanish fiestas.

“How we’re going to get these ideas across to the audience without swearing has got me completely flipping stumped. How can we get across the idea that we’re cooler than the other travel companies without using colourful language? How can we let people know that we’re ok with travellers inhaling the devil’s lettuce or even swallowing some disco biscuits? Or that if you travel with us there’s a higher chance of you knocking boots than if you travelled with literally anybody else?”

But Rogers was unapoltagetic, telling the content team to, “Just stop fucken swearing you lazy arseholes.”

If you want to have the most fun possible, to get crapulously sozzled amongst like-minded spunk rats from around the globe and maybe roast the broomstick with them, then join Stoke Travel this summer. Heck, get yourself a darn Stoke Travel Passport, because as we say, “Fiddlesticks to plans, follow your heart.”

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Stoke’s Guide To King’s Day Festival

Why wouldn’t someone want to join us in celebrating the biggest party of the year in the Netherlands? That’s right, we know you don’t want to miss this opportunity to come and party until the break of dawn with us. The Kings Day Festival is held in the almighty Amsterdam,  home of the infamous red light district, canals, and the devil’s lettuce. Grab everything and anything orange that you can get your hands on and make your way over to a birthday bash fit for a (Dutch) king.

What Even Is King’s Day

Formerly known as Queen’s day, it is a national holiday where the local Dutchies and tourists come together to paint the town orange, celebrate, and get weird in honor of their King’s birthday. Since we’re celebrating a King’s birthday, you can assume that this party is a pretty big deal.

What To Do While There

There isn’t a dull moment during this King’s birthday bash. From the canals, to the squares, to the flea market, we can guarantee that there will be something that will tickle your fancy. The canals will be flooded with boats, barges, and babes the whole day through. If you think you’ve indulged in too much booze and don’t think you can handle the uneven rocking of a boat, don’t worry. Every square in the city is new party. The squares fill with DJ’s and bands and the dancing and drinking never end. While you’re making your way through all the parties, be sure to check out the city-wide flea market – vendors line the streets well in advance to haggle with the party goers.

What To Wear

Orange. Orange pants. Orange shirts. Orange panties. Orange wigs. Orange shoes. Orange paint. Orange glitter. Orange everything and anything. Why Orange? Simply put, it’s the King’s birthday and orange is the color of the Dutch Royal Family. So don’t piss off the King on his birthday by not wearing orange.

King’s Night

If you’re the type that likes to get the party started a little early, King’s night has got you covered. It’s the night before the birthday extravaganza and the best bars and clubs open their doors for the eager party people. Many people will party their way all night and well into the next day, while the others try and get a few hours of a rest in before the big event the next day.

Chill Out

You’ll be at the craziest party in all of the Netherlands, so relax and don’t be in a hurry. The streets will be crowded in the best way possible with faces from all over the world, terrible dance moves, and live music for everyone to enjoy. The party is absolutely everywhere, so as long as your drink is full, just go with the flow.

Other Than The Festival

If you’re traveling in to Amsterdam for more than just a day or two, then you’re in luck. Amsterdam is crawling with places to go and things to smoke. If you consider yourself as a more experienced partier, make your way over to any one of Amsterdam’s smoke filled coffee shops for some of the best cannabis around. The coffee shops aren’t the only thing that Amsterdam is known for though. Rent a bike, take a ride to a park, and give your body a break after the King’s Day Festival.

Let us show you the way if you’re looking to turn yourself into an orange and party with the Dutchies!

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BREAKING: Netherlands Claims Amsterdam “More Than Hookers and Weed”

Dutch officials and the City of Amsterdam have released a news bulletin claiming that there is more to the capital city than brothels and coffee shops.

“The Netherlands, and Amsterdam especially, have a rich history and culture,” said Liam Van Der Kaamp, a spokesperson for the City of Amsterdam.  “It’s time people understood that we are more than just potheads and prostitutes.”

Shocked by the assertion, Stoke News sent investigative reporter Judas Weiner to test the truth of this weighty claim.  Stoke sat down with Weiner to discuss his findings.

“I’ve been to Amsterdam many times,” Weiner told us.  “That’s why I was so surprised to hear the statement [The City of Amsterdam] released.  I knew from experience that coffee shops were full of people smoking weed, and the red light district is always packed, so how could it be that Dutch people don’t live their lives around these twin facets of hedonistic culture?”

“It seemed the best place for me to start was where I always start when I visit Amsterdam:  the first coffee shop I found. Just as expected, it was filled with pot smokers. Everybody in the establishment loved getting high as a kite, and right away I started doubting the claims in the press release.”

When he started to dig deeper, though, Weiner made an interesting discovery.

“The more I asked around, the more I realized, not a single person in the place was actually Dutch,” said Weiner.  “In retrospect, I should have known, because nobody was eating cheese.”

After that, Weiner decided to hit the streets to see what else lurked beneath the surface.

A trip to the red light district seemed to yield the same results.  “A lot of people, a lot of prostitutes, but again, seemingly no Dutchies.  And it wasn’t even that they were hiding in plain clothes, which I would understand because, for the girls at least, it might be hard to work in wooden clogs.”

At this point, Weiner told Stoke that he was really starting to get rattled.  “It was clear at this point that the press department at the City of Amsterdam was telling the truth,” he said,  “but this raised an even more startling question: where were all the Dutch people? Is The Netherlands just a giant conspiracy?”

It was obvious to Weiner that he needed some expert help to get to the bottom of this caper.

“I visited the tourism office, and demanded some answers.  ‘Where are all the Dutch people?’ I asked to blank looks.”

After checking the ID of the woman at the info desk, Weiner was relieved to see that at least one Dutch person existed in The Netherlands’ capital.  “She was still playing coy though, pretending to be confused by the question,” said Weiner. The enigmatic gatekeeper of Amsterdam’s secret eventually relented, giving our intrepid investigator a highlighted treasure map.

“And wouldn’t you know it, with enough convincing, she showed me the path to the El Dorado I sought.  It turns out, there’s an entire city full of businesses, restaurants, and flats lurking just beyond our comprehension. Amsterdam is indeed full of Dutch people who have nothing to do with the vices of the city center.”

Were you as surprised as we were? Come to King’s Day for some authentic Dutch debauchery and see what Amsterdam is really all about.

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Ibiza News Roundup: 2018 Opening Parties

March in Ibiza means one thing – announcements (It also means Spring Break Ibiza – Ed). This is the time of year when all of the clubs start to drip feed us their huge plans for the summer, and in this here little article we’ll give you the lowdown of all of this information.

Do you know Kygo? Do you love Kygo? Well guess what? This all conquering master of tropical house will be returning to Ibiza this year playing every Sunday at Ushuaia between 15 July and 2 September. Our lovely Ibiza Beach Camp would be a hive of activity every Sunday afternoon before all of the guests finished the last of the pre-drinks and headed into town to dance the night away. One of the biggest hits of Ibiza, don’t miss it.

Surprisingly enough, Ushuaia will host it’s opening party over two weekends with it’s underground party ANTS taking the helm on Saturday 19 and 26 of May. Acts announced already are Richie Hawtin, Adam Beyer and Maya Jane Coles.

For those who are into their darker beats, Marco Carola’s party Music On will return to Amnesia every Monday from 18 May. Not many details have been released but those who’ve been to the event before will know to expect uncompromising house and techno, with a whole swaggle of beautiful young things dancing in the DJ booth. Amnesia itself is hosting its opening party on Saturday 12 May featuring Luciano, Richy Ahmed, DJ EZ, Hannah Wants and many more.

Are you an animal? Because Martin Garrix wrote a song about you, and coincidentally, Ushuaia have announced his return to the open-air venue every Thursday from 5 July to 30 August. Expect non-stop bangers, lots of lights and the odd piano break down.

Hi Ibiza’s opening party will take place on Saturday 26 May and will coincide with the opening of Saturdays with Black Coffee. The opening night will feature &ME, Audiofly, Blond:ish and more alongside the man himself. No details however have been released about who he has invited to play with him for the rest of the summer.

One of our absolute favourite parties The Zoo Project will have its opening on Sunday 6 May and will run every Sunday through to 7 October. This is a big shift for The Zoo Project as it has historically taken place on Saturdays. Rest assured all of the same animal-themed party debauchery will continue to happen in the confines of the abandoned zoo in the middle of the island.

Solomun, one of the biggest names in house and a man renowned for his interpretive dance moves at afters brings his night back to Pacha every Sunday from 27 May to 14 October. In other big news for Pacha, Sven Vath’s iconic night Cocoon has jumped ship from Amnesia after 18 years and will take over Mondays at the refurbished super club.

That French guy David Guetta launches F*** Me I’m Famous at Pacha on Thursday 31 May and will play every Thursday until 4 October. If you like your drops big and your stage banter terrible, then get a load of this guy, he’s only been getting it done here for 16 years.

And that’s all the big news for 2018 so far. Book your flights for cheap now, and come stay with us at the Ibiza Beach Camp, the best place to enjoy your time on Ibiza this year.

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Stoke Travel News Desk, 14th March

Want more information on the big stories? Here are the links so you can get behind the news and be the smartest person in your whole tribe.

A young traveller realises that running with bulls is a really fucken bad idea

The revelation came pretty soon after the bull run began.

And a first time glamper overcomes luxurious odds and surprisingly has a pretty swell time roughing it with the heathens

She somehow put up with the full-length mirror, space to stand up completely, and freshly made beds.

A Rhode Island family is confused as to whether they’re son really took a pill in Ibiza, or was just quoting a popular song lyric

Father Bryan Wheeler hopes his son hasn’t been taking those disco biscuits.

A study abroad student has demonstrated that she is such an expert on Spain that she’s being considered for a position with the embassy

They were particularly impressed with the way she pronounced Bar-the-lona.

Stoke Travel has taken a huge gamble with an outdoor London sporting event

Rain might dampen the spirits, but sunshine will sizzle the pasty London-based antipodeans.

Springfest will offer young travellers a chance to act like homeless alcoholics

They can even pee their pants.

And finally a word on the dangers of smokebombing

Just don’t fucken do it.

Thanks for tuning in, we’ll be broadcasting again soon. Got any stories that you think we need to cover? Let us know!


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Dutch Man Plans On Messing His Hair Up For Kings Day

Amsterdam native, Chris Van Der Jagt, 24, plans on disturbing his perfect coif this King’s Day.

The hairstyle, painstakingly sculpted and maintained  by liberal application of hairspray, is predicted to be one of the biggest casualties of what will be the Dutchman’s wildest party of the year.

King’s Day, formerly Queen’s Day, is a 48-hour bender that takes place on the Dutch capital’s canals and in its streets, featuring bands and DJs, as well as pretty much every resident of the Netherlands going absolutely looney, as only the freaky deaky Dutch know how.

Van Der Jagt explains. “Normally I’m a regular, serious Dutchman, you know, pretty straightforward, hardworking, wooden shoes and a weird sense of humour, but when King’s Day comes around I let my hair down… or better to say that I leave my hair up, but allow it to get a little messy. It’s not that I’ll be leaving the house without perfect hair, oh to the contrary, in order to really pay my respects to the King of the Netherlands I’ll be paying extra special attention to my hair on the day – more time with the hairdryer, more time in front of the mirror, especially more hairspray. But it’s just that I expect that I’ll be dancing a lot in the party and for sure some hairs will break free from my perfect style.

“But that’s just what happens in the big parties. Just like I expect my chinos to become creased and my leather dress shoes to get a little stained, I also have to come to terms with the fact that my hair might be messed up.”

In order to let his fellow countrymen and women know this isn’t any regular party, Van Der Jagt has purchased a special bright orange polo shirt just for the occasion. “Orange is the official colour of the party, and some of the less well groomed Dutch people will paint their faces in orange and wear orange pants, and so on. But not me, for me I will maintain the style that I’m known for – dressing like my father.”

While all Dutch people will be celebrating King’s Day, not everybody has resigned to ruining their perfect hair. “If anybody touches my hair I’ll be so mad,” explained Rotterdam native, Robin Van Den Berg, “I will wish a life of bad cheese onto them. There’s only one thing that’s more important than having a good King’s Day, and that’s maintaining my wonderful hairstyle.”

Dutchmen messing their hair up? How can you miss that! Join us in Amsterdam for King’s Day, from the 26th to the 29th of April.

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Study Abroad Student Takes Well Deserved Spring Break

An American student studying in Barcelona has taken leave from her studying commitments in order to enjoy the island paradise of Ibiza.
Maddie Cochran, 21, felt that after half a semester of barely attending class and taking every opportunity to party and/or travel, she’d earned the time away from her tertiary education.

“It got to the point where I was counting down the days to Spring Break,” explains Cochran, “university had just become such a drag, except for weekends, because I’ve been to Florence, Paris and Madrid the past three weekends, and we only study half days on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, plus I have every Friday off, but apart from that such a drag!”
The international business student finds it especially taxing to have to take Spanish language classes once a week, despite the hour effort counting for a full university credit toward her barely related degree. “Oh I know, it’s so annoying! I was getting by fine with Yo no hablo español, but now they’re forcing me to become pretty much fluent. I guess it will help when I’m back in Florida and want to hit up taco Tuesday.

“But none of that will matter when I’m in Ibiza for Spring Break! I’m really going to make the most of my break away from Spanish class, mostly by chatting to hot Spanish boys and filling my Instagram with fire captures.”

Friends agree that the half semester abroad has been especially taxing on the recently single sorority sister. “Oh nobody goes as hard as Maddie,” explained classmate Jessica Rabstein, “she’s out at least three nights during the week, minimum! I know everybody says that studying abroad is easy, and the classes are mostly impossible to fail, but you trying doing a two-hour afternoon tutorial after getting home at 5am.”

Cochran agrees. “People who say that studying abroad is a breeze have no idea what it’s like to be hungover five days a week. It’s exhausting, and having to go to class really gets in the way of me being able to recover for the night ahead. I’m so glad that we have this break so I can go out to Ibiza and relax and party until the sun comes up every day and wake up in the afternoon with mimosas.”

But the Mediterranean island paradise won’t be all fun and games for Cochrane. “You know how hard it is to constantly have to convince my parents this is a cultural experience? The trip just can’t be spent in the club, I’ll have to explore the beaches too. It’s kind of like having to work.”

If you need a break from the rigors of student life, why not join Stoke Travel on the world’s number one party island. We’ll be out there from the 23rd to the 26th of March, and the 30th of March to the 2nd of April, where you’ll be able to relax by partying 20 hours a day.

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Four Tips for Convincing Your Parents Studying Abroad Wasn’t a Waste of Money

So your parents agreed to fork over the big bucks and send you overseas for the semester of a lifetime.  How sweet of them! In return, we think it’s only right that you should do your best to keep them in the dark about what a useless waste of tuition you are.  We’re not saying there’s a limit to your parents’ love, but it’s probably best not to test the theory.

It’s all about the spin

If you learn to phrase it right, you can pass pretty much anything off as a learning experience.  What’s that? You spend your weekends dripping sweat in the clubs until six in the morning? No, you’ve been taking dance lessons from the locals.  Stumbled home drunk? No, you were just marveling at the nighttime skyline. You didn’t skip a week of classes for that music festival, you took a field trip to experience local musicians.  The trick is knowing your audience, so you don’t accidentally say “I went to spring break in Ibiza” when you should have said “I spent my mid-semester holiday on the Balearic Islands.” Just be sure to hit up Wikipedia to prepare yourself for a follow-up question, because…

A little research goes a long way

So you’ve mastered the art of the spin.  You managed to tell the truth (more or less) without sending Mum into a panic, but she loves you and she’s going to want to hear more.  This is where it comes in handy to have a couple factoids in your back pocket. Just a quick google can mean the difference between “this awesome week-long party in San Sebastian” and “Semana Grande, or Aste Nagusia as the locals call it, is a celebration of Basque culture and tradition.”  The smarter you sound, the less likely the fam is to ask too many questions. Bonus points if you can find a museum or a UNESCO site nearby.

Watch what you post

Even with careful phrasing and a healthy dose of fun-facts, you can still blow your cover with a single misguided photo tag.  As much as you wish it weren’t true, nobody in this whole goddamn world follows your social media as carefully as family. Maybe it’s just because Grandma Ruth only has 13 friends on Facebook, but trust us when we say that she will see everything you post.  So put down your drink for 30 seconds before you snap one for the ‘Gram.  Better yet, consider keeping risqué photos (semi) private with a shared album. We know, we know, pics or it didn’t happen, but sometimes “didn’t happen” is the best strategy.

For fuck sake, pass your classes

Whatever shenanigans you get into, there’s nothing (ok, almost nothing) that’ll piss the parentals off like failing your classes.  From their perspective, this is the whole reason you’re there. We know better than to think you care about your courses, but there’s also no excuse to fail.  Study abroad schools don’t want to fail their students. Getting a reputation as a tough school is not good for study abroad business. That being said, schools will expect a bare minimum of effort from you, and won’t hesitate to drop your ass like an iPhone on the cobblestones if you don’t give it to them.  So don’t be that guy. Do the occasional bit of homework, and you can go home to proud, happy parents.

Here are some more trips you could conveniently fail to mention on your next Skype chat with the fam.

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Lo nuevo de CAIO TEIXEIRA. Magia encima de un longboard.

Siempre es un placer cuando Caio saca una nueva peli, su estilo es inconfundible, velocidad, potencia pero siempre desde un surfing muy clásico, sin duda uno de los personajes mas relevantes a nivel mundial en nuestro “pequeño-gran” mundo del longboard. Editor : Pedro Scansetti Filming : Mario Filmmaker Soundtrack : Edu Lobo – Upa Neguinho […]
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