Travel Buddies vs Fuck Buddies

You backpack with one and make the beast with two backs* with the other.

Here at Stoke we’re always extolling the virtues of travel buddies, those fabulous friends you can frolic the world with, but fuck buddies are pretty alright also! Somebody to strings-free straddle within the confines of your own bed, or a fast-food restaurant bathroom. Travel buddies and fuck buddies fulfill different purposes, but they’re both important in their own special ways; they satisfy different needs, and either of them can make you happy, or sad, content or frustrated, depending on what they do or don’t do.

And in an ideal world you would have both! You would have multiples of both, a travel and/or fuck buddy for whatever situation you’d find yourself in, maybe some overlappers, so you can get slapped while strapped in to your backpack. But this isn’t an ideal world, this is Stoke Travel’s world, and for the sake of this exercise we’re saying that you can only have one, you have to choose, between a travel buddy and a fuck buddy. What’s it going to be? (Don’t answer yet, look at our reasoning, dummy!)

You catch a plane with one, and don’t catch feelings with the other

You can’t wait to do things with your travel buddy, see new places, have memorable experiences and fill your life together with excitement. Every moment with your travel buddy is one of discovery, of adventure, of living life solely for pleasure and chasing new kicks around foreign corners, getting lost, but doing it together and living only for the moment.

With fuck buddies you’re kind of doing the same thing, but on a physical level, not on a global one. And you’re very careful to not let the relationship enter the emotional level, because then you’ll develop a thing for your fuck buddy and one night declare your eternal love for them and that will be that, they’ll be out the door and you’ll be laying there suffering from feelingitis.

One you can text at 3am for some fun, the other is down for good times 24/7

Best thing about fuck buddies is that, unlike your ex, they’re usually stoked to hear from you at 3am, yelling into your phone at the club, or just sliding into their DMs asking Wot u up 2? They’ll say, The doors open, or Do you want me to pick you up?, or Nothing, wbu? And that’s a gorgeous thing, a lovely thing, a handy thing, but then you don’t really contact them during the sober hours, and sometimes you feel bad about your drunken antics, while with your travel buddy it’s like, Let’s have fun when we’re drunk, and then again when we’re hungover and if we’re ever sober we’ll have fun then too! Your travel buddy is down for fun 24/7.

They’re both always down for oral pleasure, it’s just that one stimulates your ears, while the other…

Oh yes, that’s the spot, keep going, don’t stop now, you’re so good at… telling stories! Because you’re a travel buddy, and travel buddies will always fill the boredom with stories, stories from home, about their friends and family, stories about last night, just stories. Travel buddies are the best at using their tongues and lips to show you a good time. Fuck buddies worth keeping will also do this.

A good travel buddy is always on top, while a fuck buddy worth holding onto mixes it up

Top bunk! A solid travel buddy will happily jump up on the top bunk without you even having to ask them, they’ll even shotgun the top bunk, spring up there and lull you to sleep with the sound of them adjusting their but on the mattress. Squish, squash, squeak. That’s tops! But a fuck buddy that insists on always being on top, or on the bottom, is a fuck buddy that ain’t worth your time and attention, nup uh, your fuck buddy better mix it up, or they better fuck right off.

You’ll actually miss your travel buddy when they’re gone, but you can’t wait to see the back of your fuck buddy

You’ll cry when your travel buddy leaves you, and cry internally every minute that your fuck buddy hangs around longer than they need to. The beauty of having a fuck buddy is that they know what’s up and when it’s no longer up, they better get out. Travel buddies are soul mates, gorgeous beautiful beings, who you want to have around as long as possible.

If your travel buddy is hitting you from behind, it’s because they want your attention

Hey, Jeff, check out this sweet ice cream store, want one? When your fuck buddy is hitting you from behind they better not be thinking about ice cream, or if they are that’s cool too, we guess, just not our thing. 

Your travel buddy won’t insist you always wear protection, but your fuck buddy should

If it’s raining out, your travel buddy might suggest that you wear a raincoat, or if you’re embarking on a hike they might hint that more durable shoes are needed, or they might recommend a particular travel insurance to you, looking out for your well being, because travel buddies are guardian angels. Fuck buddies, on the other hand should always have protection in mind, and be prepared for it, otherwise they’re a good for nothing bum.

You want to keep your fuck buddy at arm’s length, while you’ll go to great lengths to get your travel buddy in your arms

Travel buddies flourish in the hug zone, that’s where they shine, where they are their most useful and do their best work. Get ’em in there and squeeze them tight, don’t let them go. Fuck buddies are sometimes allowed to hug you, but they better not get comfortable doing so.

You let your fuck buddy into your pants, but a travel buddy gets right into your heart

Awwww, we’re making ourselves fucken sick now.

 

While fuck buddies are handy for handies, it’s clear that we prefer travel buddies over everything else. Plus a good travel buddy works as an excellent wing person, so really, when you’ve found the right travel buddy you don’t need a fuck buddy. You don’t need a fucking anything. Share this with your travel buddy so they know you love and cherish them, and then go and get a Stoke Passport together.

 

* Sounds vulgar, but it’s Shakespeare:

I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.” — Iago, Othello, Act One, Scene One

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Un día de surfing con MasterT. El último edit de Joel Reis

Cuando te levantas por la mañana y todo cuadra, olas perfectas, sol y poca gente en el agua, una mañana de surfing perfecta, eso es lo que se encontró Marco Tainha este otoño en su casa y además inmortalizado por la lente de Joel Reis de “ENDLESS FUN” . Surfer: Marco “Tainha” Film and edit by: […]
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Stoke Travel’s Guide To Drinking Through The Silly Season

It’s called the silly season because you’re going to get shitfaced, for a week, make a jerk of yourself, and there’s nothing you can do to avoid it. From Christmas time to New Year’s Eve, and hiccuping through the intoxicated days in between, you’re going to be drunk more often than not and to be honest that’s just fine, perfect and completely deserved.

Obviously here at Stoke Travel, home of the €10 a day, all you can drink, open bar at essentially all of our destinations, we’re experts on all things boozing long term. We figured who better to advise you through this outrageous time of the year, because we want you to make the most out of these very soggy days.  

The weekend before Christmas Eve — don’t jump the gun

So 2017 is one of those years where you’re going to get fucked right up because you’ve got two full weekend nights, and one day, before Christmas Eve even starts. This is very dangerous. The last Friday night before Christmas is traditionally known as the most excited night of the year, and we all know that excitement means bad (wonderful) decisions. There’s no point telling you to hold off until Christmas Eve, because you’re just not going to do that, but you’re going to have to push through from here in on, so be aware that any choices you make now will have repercussions tomorrow and that repercussion will be that you’ll have to back it up and go again, and again, and so on. It’s best now to get into the habit of starting your day with a coffee and Baileys, and favourite of the Doozy Bros coffee cart that you’ve seen at our events.

Christmas Eve — the traditional re-ignition of the bridges

So traditionally Christmas Eve is one of the best of the year, because absolutely nobody has to work the next day, so traditional excuses for not getting lit are invalid. If you’re going home for the season, Christmas Eve represents a night when all your friends, family, the guys you nod to in the hallway at high school, etc, return to your hometown and fill up whatever shitty local watering hole you’ve got. This night is a real fun night if you can drink enough to avoid the boring, What have you been up to? line of small talk. What we suggest you do is find a quiet corner and start smashing tequila shots, just one after the other, maybe throwing in a beer to break up the onslaught after every fourth shot. Keep this up until you get drunk and abusive, so then when some geek from high school is like, Hey man, what have you been up to? for the hundredth time that night, you can be like, What have I been up to? Everything! But what the hell have you been up to, Joseph? Wasting your damn life on your stupid career like a slave to the system, Jason.

Christmas Day — surly Santa

So if you did Christmas Eve right you’ve woken up on Christmas Day loaded up with regret and maybe in your parents’ garden. Perfect! This is the perfect way to start your Christmas Day. Remember the coffee and Baileys you’ve been drinking since Saturday morning? Well today’s special, so sub them out for some elaborate Bloody Marys, the ones with celery and bacon and plenty of hot sauce so you don’t down the concoction too quickly, this drink is supposed to perk you up, not black you out. The whole point of Christmas Day is to show your extended family just how much of a goddamn legend you are, and the best way to do that is to impress them with your drinking prowess. Start the day with a spring in your step, but always make sure you’re one level of intoxicated behind Aunty June. Aunty June is your pace car. That way you won’t make a buffoon of yourself until everybody else has, and by showing that you’ve got some mettle in the drinking realm will mean that when the lightweights are passed out, Uncle Phil will include you in the secretive “good Scotch” club that always goes down late at night at these kinds of events. We don’t usually suggest this, but playing it cool through Christmas can really yield some tasty rewards.

Boxing Day — sun’s out, fun’s in

Righto, so the whisky has given you a slight hangover so this morning you might want to punch your first beer with breakfast. Get it into you. Boxing Day is a day for the outdoors, either at your rich cousin’s place, or in a field with your bonehead pals. Now if you’re in the northern hemisphere you’re going to need a coat, but for those of you down south, get that rotten rig of yours out and start slapping shoulders. The best way to spend Boxing Day is to be the happiest/most annoying person at the party. Get your arm around some acquaintances and tell them how much you love them. Run out of beer and then start asking everyone for one of theirs. Piss your pants. Boxing Day is a really good day to get out in the great outdoors, get sunstroke, and generally make a knob of yourself.

The Purgatory — can’t stop, won’t stop

Now we enter that weird no-man’s land between Christmas and New Years. There’s no real point going back to work for this stretch, so take the time off and enjoy yourself, and there’s also no real point in sobering up, so enjoy yourself with more partying. A lot of people will use this time to do a roadtrip to wherever they’re spending New Year’s, others will just vegetate at their parents’ place and some will become permanent fixtures at the local pub. We suggest that through this time you try a different drinking style a day and really run with it. Maybe on the Wednesday become a wine connoisseur and spend your day swishing grape juice around your mouth, never spitting it out and flashing your red teeth at people while you lie about the different flavours in the wine. On Thursday, become a ginny, and get loaded up on G&Ts and talk to strangers about your feelings before breaking down at the end of the night in a sobbing heap. Fridays are for fighting, so hit the rums early and make sure they’re strong. You get the drift.  

New Year’s Eve — survival

We’ve said it once, and we’ll say it again, NYE is generally the worst night of the year. Too much excitement generally means massive let downs, and all the pubs, bars and clubs fill up with partying novices who clog up the service with their elaborate orders and slow decision making. You, on the other hand, are now essentially pickled in booze, so all you need is a little sniff of something alcoholic to be right rolling drunk again. We suggest you spend New Year’s outside, somewhere where you can take your own rocket fuel, a concoction of whatever booze you’ve got left, thereby skipping the horrible hordes and their stupid queues. By this point your mental state will be ragged at best, you’re essentially a hobo with your habits and we wouldn’t be surprised to see you sitting in a gutter leaking expletives at all and sundry, who will probably interpret them as expressions of goodwill, and thank you for spreading the merriment. All you have to do on New Year’s is survive until the clock clicks over to midnight, at which point you should make out with whatever piece of pavement you’re inhabiting and get some much needed sleep right then and there, among the puke and broken bottles, while all the goofballs makeout with each other, convinced they’re having the time of their lives.

If you want to have a really good New Year’s Eve, maybe the only decent one on the planet, then make sure you reserve your spot on our London-Edinburgh New Year’s Eve Party Train for this year’s Hogmanay celebrations. It’s the only way to round out a particularly taxing silly season.

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Jon Irigoien y su longboard en Mundaka. Drones and waves.

Rebuscando en mi memoria, me acabo de dar cuenta de que hay muy pocos videos de Mundaka surfeando clásico con un longboard y menos aún grabado desde un drone; pues hoy nuestro amigo Jon Irigoien y los chicos de  THINK IN DRONE nos regalan esa posibilidad, un cortometraje de bella factura, con unas vistas aéreas brutales de Jon, […]
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Bruce Brown, el Filmmaker del surfing. RIP

El 10 de Diciembre de 2017, será para todos los que amamos el surfing y las buenas pelis de este género, un día triste, se ha muerto BRUCE BROWN, el director de la mítica ” Endless summer” (1966) tenía 80 años y fue la persona junto al fotógrafo Leroy Grannis, que mejor nos mostró la época dorada […]
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Stoke Travel’s Guide To Christmas Giving

How to find the perfect gift for your travel buddy.

‘Tis the season to be awkward, to awkwardly give and receive gifts. Receiving terrible gifts is an easy awkward, a smile and a forced thankyou, followed by an insistence that you will indeed wear it, before banishing the offending gift to the back of your cupboard. Giving subpar gifts, however, isn’t something that is so easily shirked off, and the shame of an ill-thought-out Christmas present could follow you around for at least another year, maybe more.

That’s why choosing the perfect gift for your travel buddy is the most important thing you’ll do this silly season. Get it wrong and you could be about to spend a lot of time with somebody you’ve recently disappointed, somebody whose low opinion of you could very easily compromise your travelling happiness. Get it right and you might be able to subtly manipulate your compadres behaviour through your shrewd generosity. But what do you get them? What do you get your fiancé of fun, your partner of pleasure? Well, depends on what kind of traveller they are.

The Party Animal

The Party Animal seems to have an unbreakable stamina when it comes to raging. They’re consistently the last person back to the hostel and the first to crack a beer the next day. The Party Animal is an expert at making new best friends every night and then forgetting all about them by the morning. As a matter of fact, the Party Animal forgets about nearly everything the next day, which is good for them, as remembering all the embarrassing things they do might buckle them into a forever cringe, twisting them in the middle so they’re permanently bent over like the Hunchback of Not-Again.

Gift ideas: well, you’re always going to wake up before them, so maybe when you do just give them a swift punch in the head and make sure those pesky brain cells know who’s boss. That would be a nice present, or maybe get them a ticket on our 24-hours of madness, Hogmanay New Year’s Eve trip, where forgettable behaviour is standard issue, and even the biggest of party animals will look like a lightweight compared to the Scottish locals.

The Thrillseeker

Oh the Thrillseeker, the goddamn energy-drink bleeding ball of energy that is the Thrillseeker, never content to kick back and chill, take in the sights, instead always wanting to hang-glide off this, or abseil into that, or rollerblade in the bar, or any other manner of extreme pastimes that are intended to make you feel bad about your inaction, but really just make you feel sorry for how lame this pal is. The Thrillseeker is always telling you how theyadrenaline is their drug, and right now they’re fucked up, and there’s no I in fear, and if you’re not on the edge you’re taking up too much space, but you just wish they’d drop it back a gear and shut the eff up.

Gift ideas: slip a six pack of Red Bull into their tea, put them in a shopping trolley and push them down the stairs of your hostel — the thrill that they’ve been seeking will hit them in the third eye like a gumboot full of crack cocaine to the gums and will scare them forever out of this silly obsession with pushing the limits. Or, perhaps a trip to the Running of the Bulls 2018 will show them just how partying is so much cooler than thrillseeking, as we pay less attention to putting ourselves in harm’s way from animals, and more into becoming animals of the party.  

The Casanova

Oh lover lover, mmm, they call this travel buddy Mr, or Miss, or Mrs, or Dr Boombastic, because they really think they’re fantastic when it comes to wooing members of whichever sex(es) they fancy. This self-proclaimed lothario is a real pain in the ass to travel with, forever chasing down whichever object of their affection had the misfortune of walking into the bar, crossing the street, being born — ditching all of your loosely-laid plans of having a goodtime together, seeing some sights, sampling some delicacies and then, after your diet of hearty laughs has been satisfied, perhaps encouraging some strangers to share your bed with you. No, the Casanova sees carnal knowledge as a mission that begins in your sleep and finishes when you’re not sleeping alone, and boy can that get tiresome.

Gift ideas: freeze a dog poo, put it in a condom, and slip it into their back pocket when you’re out and about. As the day progresses the poop will melt, and they will emanate an unbearable and undetectable stink, which will shut down any and all cockiness and render your overly cocksure chum an ineffective cocksagger for the rest of the trip. Or, bring them to Oktoberfest 2018, where we’re expecting more than 8000 travellers net year, more than enough people for them to try and hit on, while you find some much better friends.

The Sponge

The Sponge always wants a bite of your sandwich. The Sponge constantly forgets to bring their wallet to the bar. The Sponge remembers when they spotted you that 5¢ for an ice cream, but have conveniently forgotten that they haven’t chipped in for beach-drinking bottles of vino since you first rocked up in Barcelona. The Sponge is a take, take, take kinda guy, one of those travellers with short arms and deep pockets, the kind of person who will return from their time abroad with more money than they went away with. Fuck the Sponge.

Gift ideas: get a fake ID made up with your face and their details and then embark on a campaign of utter shittery, making a menace of yourself around the world, racking up an incredible, crippling bill of fines in their name, effectively crippling them for the term of their natural lives. OR, introduce them to any of Stoke Travel trips, like the Ibiza Beach Camp, or the San Sebastian Surf Camp, where everything is covered, food included, as a part of our all-inclusive packages. Kill them with kindness, and then when they least expect it smack ‘em right in the kisser with your left-jab of generosity.

The Logistician

Oh Logistician, give it a break. Give it a break from your constant penciling in of schedules, your relentless setting of alarms, your borderline breakdowns when the plans that you, and only you, made went awry due to the, completely justifiable, hedonistic tardiness of your compadres. The Logistician treats travelling as a way to alleviate the chaos in their accounting day job, an orderly break from the psyche-shattering maelstrom that is their home life of meal preparation, throw pillows and missionary position. The Logistician is constantly on the verge of a massive nervous breakdown and tries to pull you into one too by making sure that your every travelling moment is a nightmare of missed connections, trusting nobody and recounting your €3.75 change 86 times.

Gift ideas: a prostitute, a really decent prostitute who will love the neurosis out of them in under 30 minutes. Or, bring them along to Las Fallas, the festival where Spanish artists build beautifully elaborate statues and then burn them to the ground, a reminder that nothing is permanent, and therefore nothing matters, so, you know, just fucking let it go, maaaaaaan.

The Inseparable Bestie

Oh you’d take a bullet for this one, that’s for sure. This travel buddy makes travelling a breeze. They’ll go along with your plans as well as suggesting their own when you’re stuck for ideas. They’ll happily split a bill straight down the middle, even if you had the goddamn lobster and they were on the Caesar salad. The Inseparable Bestie fills long bus rides with laughter, and acts as a wing (wo)man when you need one, and as a cock (booty) blocker when you really, really need one. The Inseparable Bestie is your soulmate, the rare human who can survive a long trip with you and have the relationship emerge not only unscathed, but powered up. The Inseparable Bestie might start the journey as a relative stranger, but by the end will hold your hair back while your Montezuma’s revenge has you double ending into the bowl and bidet. The Inseparable Bestie thinks the world of you, and so they deserve it in return.

Gift ideas: their hand in marriage, a house next to yours, a million bucks, or the Stoke Travel Passport, for a summer of amazing parties and trips across Europe, taking in the biggest, best and wildest festivals as well as the most amazing destinations.

We hoped that helped! What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received? Light it up in the comments.

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SEBA LANG: EL SHAPER DE LA DOLCE VITA

Texto: Iván Fernández González-Coyote Painting Walls A la hora de escribir sobre tablas clásicas en Europa, Italia es una parada obligatoria. El Mediterráneo es capaz de ofrecer sesiones épicas pero en los largos periodos entre marejada y marejada hay que tener la mente ocupada en algo más que en  las olas para no dejarse consumir […]
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OZ Noserider prototype test. Mexico CJ Nelson

CJ NELSON “The Oz Noserider is our “Involvement” style classic nose riding surfboard. Shaped by Australian Ian Chisholm, this design has the wide point back, 50/50 rails with a huge nose riding concave. The OZ Noserider is made to sit a bit further back in the pocket without losing any stability or control from the […]
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