Stoke Travel announces more bad reviews and good times well into 2018

Studies show that the worse the reviews the better the time had by the majority of punters

2017 was a great year for Stoke Travel and all the new and returning Stokies who joined us for the fun. While the vast majority of you had the best time ever, a vocal minority had a bummer and let the internet know through the art of leaving bad reviews. Reviews like, It was raining and my bus was 15 minutes late, worst travel company ever. Yeah, sorry about the all-you-can-drink €10 open bar and the hot, cooked breakfasts, air mattresses and piles of hot guys and mega babes from all over the world, next time we’ll try and put a stop to precipitation, Deborah. 

Now with the new year coming and going, we’ve had much time to ponder our approach into the future and have made the resoution to remain steadfast in our commitment to be a bastion of bad decisions and good times this year. Citing the previous years’ cavalcade of chaos, fuck ups and overwhelmingly good times, Stoke Travel have vowed to stay just the way you like us into 2018 and beyond.

“We never got into this business to be good guys,” explains Stoke Travel’s JT. “Everybody has too many do-gooders already in their lives — from family members, to religious leaders and high school guidance counselors. We want to be the good time guys, the let’s-have-fun-at-all-costs gang who often act irresponsibly, take risks, and break rules, because that’s where you find the really great stuff.”

Since its inception way back in 2005, Stoke Travel has provided a platform for travellers from all walks of life to have the best times imaginable, to lose all their inhibitions and land themselves in all sorts of tricky, exciting situations.

“It’s not really our fault,” continues JT, “we just let people do what they want, and nine times out of ten what they want is to act like carefree, hedonistic savages. I mean, we don’t necessarily encourage them to drink so much that they piss their pants, but we do open the bar and definitely won’t judge them when they do.”

In many regards Stoke Travel has acted as a sort of petri dish through which amateur anthropologists can witness humanity stripped of social conventions, almost viewing people in a sort of modern, primordial state.

“You should hear the grunting and groaning that comes out of our tent cities — and at any time of the day! It sometimes sounds like a tribe of neanderthals found their way into a chicken farm. I mean, i’m sure they’re having a good time and all, but the guttural symphony that slinks out of those nylon pleasure domes is sometimes a bit confronting.”

All these things have led to some dorks leaving nasty Stoke Travel reviews around the internet.

“There are some people who just can’t handle the heat. Some who aren’t cut out to have no-holds-barred good times. They get all sad about bad weather and warmish beer, forgetting that if they drink enough of that beer the bad weather won’t matter anymore. That’s not to say that there aren’t some legitimate complaints, but we’ve always been of the opinion that you can have a damn great time no matter what happens if you really want to.”

And Stoke Travel will continue to run on that ethos. The way we see it, our lives are filled with too many rules, too many people judging us for just wanting to make the most on our one and only spin around the solar system on this crazy rock, and that’s why Stoke Travel vows to continue creating judgement-free spaces into 2018 and beyond — and if that’s irresponsible then so be it. The world’s already too full of puritans and wowsers, why would you want your travel company to also be a bunch of life-restricting dorks? Stoke Travel will continue to be a place where you can come and do whatever you damn-well want.

Are you ready to join in the most excellent fun? Are you looking forward to making an absolute monster of yourself? Will you join us in not giving a flying fuck in 2018? Maybe the Stoke Travel passport is for you.

The post Stoke Travel announces more bad reviews and good times well into 2018 appeared first on Stoke Travel.

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Surfer+van+waves= Happiness

El surf y las furgos son dos cosas que van unidas en la cultura surfing, aunque hay excepciones todo surfer persigue el sueño de tener su furgo, para recorrer con toda libertad la costa en busca de olas. Unos se gastan mucho dinero en comprarse el último modelo, otros lo contrario se gastan mucho en […]
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Fotos Faro del Trafalgar por TXETXU PHOTO. Surfing en Caños de Meca

Hace unas semanas nos hicimos eco de una quedada en Caños de Meca, el “Chicharrón log meeting” donde varios amigos andaluces y de otros lugares de la península, nos juntamos para disfrutar de una jornada de surfing y amigos. La gente de Bodas Dream y Promotv nos hicieron un estupendo vídeo del evento con drones y todo. […]
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Mikel de la Maza y Jon Garmendia

Mikel de la Maza y Jon Garmendia nos traen de la mano de Bideolan Proyectos Audiovisuales, un video de los que más nos gustan, es decir, riders nacionales, en una playa de nuestra costa. “Un vídeo de aquí”. Estamos acostumbrados a ver vídeos de buenos surfistas en esas olas perfectas de California, Mexico, etc, pero […]
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Viajes de surf para el 2018

Todos los comienzos de año hago balance “surfero” de los últimos meses, y saco el calendario para ver que nuevas aventuras puede depararme el 2018, y los posibles viajes de surf que puedo hacer en el año que entra.

El año pasado no ha sido un gran año de surf para mi, las circunstancias profesionales y personales han hecho que haya entrado poco al agua, y aunque ha habido viajes de ocio a otras partes del mundo, como Tailandia o Islandia, los surf trips han sido menos de los que me hubiera gustado.

De la lista de destinos surferos que me había marcado para el 2017 no he cumplido ninguno, aunque eso no significa que no haya re-descubierto olas, o haya conocido destinos exóticos que no había imaginado conocer tan pronto.

Este año he estado 2 veces en el País Vasco francés, destino que ya conocía de otros viajes, pero que siempre te arranca una sonrisa, es un viaje de surf que sin duda recomiendo para el año que viene.

destinos surf francia

La gran sorpresa del año ha venido por un surftrip inesperado, organizado en el último momento para surfear en Maldivas, destino increíble por la belleza del agua y la perfección de sus olas. Tuve la suerte de ir con un grupo de surfistas increíble (tanto por su surf como por su calidad humana), que hicieron de este viaje una experiencia inolvidable.

Para el 2018 tengo varios destinos en mente, y aunque no pueda cumplirlos todos me gusta ponerlos en la lista de viajes del año y soñar con las olas, la cultura y la gente que conoceré esta temporada.

¿Empezamos?

5 surftrips para este año

Surfear en Indonesia

Tengo que reconocer que aunque Indo es un paraíso surfero no se habia colado en mi lista hasta el año pasado. Lo cierto es que el nivel de surf que hay que tener para recorrer sus olas es demasiado alto para mi, pero me entraron más ganas que nunca de ir tras ver el viaje que se pegaron unos amigos viajeros (que no surferos) , y que retransmitieron casi en directo en su blog Muero por Viajar.

Aunque haya olas de revista que no me atreva a surfear me encantará ver el nivel de surf desde la orilla, recorrer sus islas en busca de olas adecuadas para mi nivel, o disfrutar de la naturaleza de este increíble país.

surf en indonesia

Foto tomada en Lombok por MueroPorViajar

Surf en Taiwan

Es un destino que poca gente se plantearía como destino surfero, y sin embargo la WSL ya tiene una sede del circuito de clasificación en sus playas.

La razón por la que este destino se ha colado entre mis destinos surferos de este año es el hecho de que un gran amigo (que conocí en mi viaje a Australia) ha abierto un surfcamp allí. Él es el primero que me habló de la poca gente que hay en las aguas de este exótico país.

Si te interesa conocer las olas de este país te recomiendo hacerlo con Surf House Taiwan, puede que coincidamos por allí.

surfear en Taiwan

Surf en Marruecos

Este país lleva ya un par de años colándose en mi lista, pero es que todavía no he conseguido ir al país vecino de cultura exótica y olas increíbles. ¿Conseguiré al final ir este año?

Ola de surf en Marruecos

Surf trip por Cadiz

Aunque sea andaluza y ya haya probado las aguas del Palmar en alguna ocasión, el hecho de vivir el Barcelona me hace complicado coger la tabla y escaparme unos días por esta increíble región andaluza.

Cádiz, es uno de los destinos surferos que más me apetece surfear, sus olas, sus paisajes, su gentes y su comida, ponen año tras año este destino en mi punto de mira.

surf en playa de cadiz

Foto de http://turismo.cadiz.es/

Viaje de surf al sur de Francia

Ya os he comentado que este año he estado dos veces por allí, y cada vez que vamos de viaje por esta región nos enamora más y más. Así que mi recomendación de esta temporada es sin duda la región del País Vasco francés, una región diferente, a medio camino entre Francia y España, con olas increíble, paisajes de escándalo, y gente encantadora.

Surf en sur de francia

Ahora os toca a vosotros, ¿que destino de surf recomendáis para este 2018?

La entrada Viajes de surf para el 2018 se publicó primero en Surfmocion.

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Nico #Nikidora surf at home. Video by Omar Suárez

El pequeño #Nikidora se nos hace mayor, su estatura crece como su surfing, su estilo también se va puliendo, su personalidad tranquila, ahí sigue y aunque va perdiendo la inocencia y adentrándose en la adolescencia, él ve claro su rumbo dentro del longboard y el surf clásico, sus ganas de surfear muchas y diferentes tablas […]
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Stoke’s Guide to Sneaking Booze into Festivals

Festivals and alcohol go hand in hand like chemo patients and bandanas, and unfortunately, those in charge of setting the bar prices are fully aware of this and often abuse their power to leave us splashing out €5+ for a third of a pint of beer so watery it wouldn’t topple a toddler. The result of this extortionate money grabbing is a tradition as old as time itself: sneaking booze into festivals. Indeed, the first recorded incident of this was at the Last Supper where Paul snuck in a hip flask of Jäger cos Jesus was being stingy and making them all share one cup of wine. I mean, come on, the dude can turn water into wine and still can’t sort out a bottle?? So ever since then, this right of passage has been tried by everyone from popes to peasants, with varied results. We at Stoke have done more than our fair share so here’s some of our top tips and tricks for defeating security in this never-ending battle for our right to reasonably priced drinks.

Get Creative:

If you’ve heard of it, chances are the security team has too. We’re well past emptying out Sprite bottles and refilling them with our favourite tipple, everybody knows that trick. It’s even getting to the stage where emptying Pringles cans or hollowing out a loaf of bread only yield about 30% positive results, generally leaving you stumbling for a poorly thought out excuse involving extreme over cooking and “extra thick crusts” to justify why your loaf of bread weighs three times more than it should. Nowadays, you’ll have to step your game up a bit to enjoy that sweet taste of success cut with tequila.

Backpacks over Suitcases:

Sure it’s convenient to be able to trundle around with your little wheeled case, and to be able to flip it open and have easy access to all your undies is great, but it’s that same easy access that will hamstring you when you’ve substituted undies for vodka bottles. A large backpack however, will almost never get searched as that would involve taking literally everything out to get to the bottom. Instead security just generally pat down the sides for any bottle shaped objects so as long as it’s buried deep and wrapped in socks, you should be as happy as Larry. Sidenote, who the fuck is Larry, and why is he always so happy? The only Larry I knew was my high school principal and he was a miserable bastard. With a name like Larry, what’s to be happy about? It should be changed to happy as Barry, I’ve never met a sad Barry. Good ol’ Bazza, always down for a good time.

Technology:

The benefit of capitalism is that where demand exists, eventually someone will supply. There are now wide variety of items available specifically for the booze sneaking professional, ranging from umbrellas, to hair brushes, to binoculars. However, for the money it costs to acquire one of these items, you might as well just fork out the extra cash for festival drinks. Drones work well too, but are expensive, high risk, and can’t carry that much booze. In terms of cost effective, versatile, booze smuggling technology, there is one thing that is invaluable: ziplock bags. Decant your bevvies into these and stick them literally anywhere you can think of; under your hat, in your bra, or in your sleeping bag. There is a definite spillage risk however, so like a $10 hooker, double bagging is recommended.

Environment:

Yea you could get your Jack Sparrow on and go to the festival site three weeks in advance and bury a heap of rum to dig up once the festival has started, but ain’t nobody got time for that! Realistically, your options are chucking stuff over the fence (two-person operation) or if you’re lucky enough to be camping by a body of water, swimming stuff in. Now, swimming across a lake with 10 litres of home brew wine sounds harder than it actually is but there are still several potential hazards. Firstly, generally speaking the bottles you have your booze in will float which makes swimming easier, but someone dragging a raft of bottles behind them does raise the eyebrows of security. If you can get your prize underneath you like some sort of liver liquidating lilo then not only is it hidden from those who may wish you harm, but you also have some added buoyancy! If you are going to attempt this, start small. While the phrase “He died trying to swim his bros a 50L cask of bourbon across a 1km lake” is one of the coolest things you could have written on your gravestone, you wouldn’t be around to brag about it so kinda not worth it…

Stuff of Legends:

When it comes to booze smuggling, go big or go home is a very valid phrase. Every security guard has their eyes peeled like potatoes for that lonely bottle of vodka in a handbag, but if you rock up to the trade entrance with 15 kegs and a clipboard, look like you’re in a rush and ask “Where does Stacey want these??”, I guarantee the only problem you will have is trying to drink 15 kegs in 3 days. This is by no means the only way to go big either. Air drops, reverse Ocean’s 11, and underground tunnel systems are all valid options, tried and true. Borrowing a few ostriches and sending them stampeding towards the main gate could work out, for those of you doubting this, it’s already been done as shown here. In fact, any large distraction near the entrance will help everyone out, whether it’s Justin Bieber, a controlled explosion, or just a couple of strippers, smuggling booze is a bit like magic: misdirection is the key.

 

If there is a takeaway point from all this, it would be something along the lines of be original! Smuggling booze is an art form and Da Vinci didn’t get famous for copying stuff he found on Google… which kind of defeats the whole point of this article but you get what I mean. Alternatively, the more intelligent option would be to go with Stoke Travel’s unlimited beer and sangria for 10 euros a day! Saves you from the hassle of smuggling and the risk of losing your hard earned booze, all without breaking the bank.

 

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Salinas Longboard Festival. CONFIRMADO. Habrá uno cada mes.

Tras el éxito cosechado año tras año y el continuo crecimiento exponencial, desde la organización del Festival Internacional de Salinas, confirman que se hará uno al mes. “Uno al año es muy poco, la gente quiere más. Hemos contactado con los propietarios de los Gauzones y están encantados. Estamos seguros que los portugueses, malaguitas y […]
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Se convoca el II Chicharrón Long Meeting, pero en Asturias. Cachopo Long Meeting

Nos alegra comunicaros, que tras el éxito de la primera edición en Cádiz, del Chicharrón long Meeting, ya se está perfilando la siguiente edición, pero con algunas modificaciones, escuchando las peticiones de los asistentes. -Esta segunda edición se llamará Cachopo Long Meeting y se celebrará en Asturias. “El chicharrón está muy bien pero donde esté […]
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Firiwiri Hangten Longboard Performance Magazine. Nuevo sponsor. Nuevo nombre.

Firiwiri Hangten Longboard Performance Magazine, esté será nuestro nuevo nombre a partir de ahora. Se acaba de firmar, un acuerdo de colaboración y patrocinio con la marca Firiwiri, aportando su nombre al de la revista. Desde la revista estamos muy contentos con esta firma, ya que nos posibilita veranear en Cancún y tener tablas gratis […]
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