JOSEPHINE RYAN MURPHY
So you’re in the UK and you’ve decided that Oktoberfest is for you and now you just need to figure out how to get there. You’ve basically got three options, an underwater party train or two other shittier modes of transport. On the party train you’ll have a nice comfy seat surrounded by other Stoketoberfest campers and a wonderful view of the countryside rolling past. You’re basically getting a whole extra day of partying on either side of the festival rather than wasting your time on a bus or plane. If you’re not already convinced, that’s a little weird but here are a few more reasons that might knock some sense into you.
10 Hours To Get To Know Each Other
The train journey is about 10 hours, which gives you a pretty decent amount of time to suss out your fellow Oktoberfest campers and get to know each other and when you combine inescapable vehicles and alcohol, relationships can escalate fairly quickly. Basically while everyone else will meet for the first time at the campsite, you’ll have already laid the groundwork and are therefore more likely to actually get laid.
You Can Move
Dead legs and feet are not a issue on trains, you can do all the moving you want. Not just readjusting on your terribly uncomfortable bus/plane seat and awkwardly rubbing off the person next to you, actual MOVING. You can walk through the carriages – you could even skip or dance through the carriages if you really wanted and probably will after a few drinks. You can stand in various different places along the train. If you don’t like the person sitting next to you, fuck ‘em, go for a wander and find someone you do. If you do like the person sitting next to you, you can invite them to walk WITH you.
You Can Pee
Ok so yeah, you can pee on airplanes too but when you flush you have to press yourself against the other side of the tiny shit box while they make that terrifying sucking noise that happens while they try and pull you right out of the plane and to your death. Buses rarely have them and when they do, without getting into the details, you have to deal with the unpleasantries of speed bumps, corners, sudden stopping and starting, the list goes on. Trains however, have fairly decent toilets.
Start The Mile Below Club
Does anyone really believe that no one noticed you just fucked in the airplane toilet? Everyone is literally sitting, FACING the toilet with not much else to do other than people watch. On the party train however, not only are half the seats facing the other direction but everyone’s too busy walking around and standing in various places along the train to notice, plus there’s more room.
It’s A Party Train
Last but not least, you’re literally on a train full of the people that you’ll be camping and partying with all weekend. Trains, they’re the best.
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